I'AM AN EMPHATY, AN INTROVERT, A BIPOLAR AND MELANCHOLIC IN NATURE
writing·@ajibade·
0.000 HBDI'AM AN EMPHATY, AN INTROVERT, A BIPOLAR AND MELANCHOLIC IN NATURE
 As a little boy, I grew up with numerous mental disorders. I was brought up by semi-single parent. My father was not dead, but he was never with us. He was all worked up with his job that he traveled to places like those places were his kitchen. Sometimes he would call but never speak to me, rather speak to my siblings. I would sulk and sulk till I couldn't sulk no more.  My mother on the other hand was very busy with her trade that she never had time for her children. She would sleep throughout the day, when everyone was going to work and only to wake up during the night to get prepared for work. My dad fought for his country, while my mom worked for her body. Both my parents never had time to notice my ordeal, and my siblings who the world knew as older than me, were busy attending to trousers that came their way. I noticed they inherited it from mother.  At a tender age, all my senses were heightened. Every slap was a blow, every feeling hurts, even happiness was very stressful. I found peace in loneliness and found joy in pouring hot fluids from my eyes. Since i never had the chance of formal education, it always hurt to see my mates go to school and leave me behind. On a certain day, one of my selected few friends came to talk about his school. On his part, he thought he had helped me in relieving pain but deep within me, without him knowing he had just planted a seed of eternal damnation.  I had this mood swing that i couldn't control. I couldn't even place it's bearing. Sometimes, i would feel so happy that i would lose control, and at other times, i would feel so depressed. The urge for suicide came with the depression. Even the quack pastor from my mother's church looked me in the eyes and said I was suffering from heavenly punishment. He further went on to state that I had committed a great sin before his lord and I was paying dearly for it. A sin I myself couldn't remember. He even organised a deliverance service to cleanse me from my spirit family. He was really confused. I went for the service because mother said I should go but I didn't feel a thing there. I even did not feel any spirit, or hear the pastor's thundering voice, except the loud thuds of my heart beat. Even during deliverance I was still lost in the super sensible world of me, myself and I. On the long run, the pastor said my case was incurable and that baba in heaven is the only one with the cure. This statement, hit me so hard that I actually blamed baba in heaven for creating me. As I grew older, I never was relieved of my “gift" according to my local psychic adviser. This so called gift was a burden to bear, as so many people termed me as being full of myself and being too classy. They never understood that there was more going on than what the eye could meet. I found it hard to get close to people without noticing their pain and converting it to mine.  At twenty years of age, I couldn't bear to kill the foul my dad acquired for Xmas and my dad termed me as weak and not a man. Even the Ladies in my area viewed me as being lazy inside and outside. I wanted to prove to them that I wasn't lazy but every time I did, I got into trouble. It is either I over act and act mad. I tried to please everyone, but at the end displeased all, even myself. I found solitude in the dark corner of my room, accompanied by my phone, whose screen is the large bare butt of Nicki Minaj whom I always stroked my stick to till I poured out sticky pap. My pleasure was short lived as I began to feel guilt immediately after this escapade.  Now the world rejects me. My dad casts me, I can't even Love because she is ashamed of me and regards me as "not a family man". My Sisters don't talk to me because they see me as "not part of our family". My mom detests me because I remind her of her latest boring customer. Now, the only thing i find peace with is my pen but later on engage in war, when I am overwhelmed by the psychic.  I am an empath, an introvert, a bipolar and Melancholic in nature. But, I am a human, and that alone ignites my urge to break records!!! I remain my humble self @ AJIBADE KINDLY READ AND UPVOTE .....thanks