I really enjoyed reading an article on TechCrunch today that inspired me to do my favourite quick-descriptions of some crypto-currencies:

*Name*            | *Symbol*  | *Description*                              
---------------|-------|------------------------------------------
Bitcoin         | BTC   | Digital gold                             
Ethereum        | ETH   | Programmable money         
Bitcoin Cash    | BCH   | Bitcoin hype-clone                            
Litecoin        | LTC   | Faster Bitcoin                           
NEO             | NEO   | Chinese Ethereum                  
NEM             | XEM   | Digital asset exchanger        
IOTA            | MIOTA | Blockchain upgraded              
OmiseGO         | OMG   | Decentralized banking             
BitConnect      | BCC   |  Ponzi scheme
Lisk            | LSK   | Decentralized mobile apps
Tether          | USDT  | Digital dollar                                   
Komodo          | KMD   | Decentralizing ICOs                       
Steem           | STEEM | Decentralized Reddit                 
TenX            | PAY   | Decentralized debit card               
Golem           | GNT   | P2P software power            
Basic Attention Token | BAT   | Revolutionizing media's revenue stream                 
Syscoin         | SYS   | Decentralized eBay                
Siacoin         | SC    | Decentralized Dropbox                          
Ethos       | ETHOS   | Universal crypto-wallet      

Original article that inspired me:
https://techcrunch.com/2017/11/19/100-cryptocurrencies-described-in-4-words-or-less/

What are your favourite short-funny descriptions for crypto-currencies? Let me know if you come up with something funny!