I deviate to prove I am not a machine
and yet it is true nonetheless
i must sleep in order to be awake.
It is true nonetheless the forward momentum of change persists everlastingly, 
and nothing can ultimately it is assumed
be done to stop my inexorable slide towards
death. 
I deviate to prove I am not a machine
and yet all evidence points to the appearance of a creature enslaved by desires which are ever escalating in preference and scale. 
Desensitization must follw as a perfectly natural consequence 
of continued pursuit of limitless novelty. The natural is 
only the neutral and pitiless so-called Law of Nature. 
This organism is enfolded with and involved in the unstoppable 
standing-wave progression of the neutral Order of Nature.
I deviate to prove I am not a machine. Real mastery consists
in the transformation of animal instinct into human
intuition; intelligence eternally vigilant and responsive (responsible) and 
hence always creating, not merely reacting along automatic
and pre-experienced pattern-sequences of behavior.
The ego is not singular! 
It is a vicious multi-headed horrid dragon hydra. There is not "I"
and layers of this singular "I". There are multiple "I"'s to which 
is referred when the word "I" is used. The illusory self is a collective 
of personalities/ego/"I"'s. Each "I" exists as a motivation,
a mode of action, a sequence of behavioral steps to execute in
order to achieve the fruition of the point of having a motivation,
to fulfill intention, or desire, or goal. Obviously each individual
has evolved countless motivating desires in an apparently infinite capacity, 
some of which may or may not be in conflict with other desires existing co-simultaneously. 
There is this organism as process and its attendant multitude of desires, each of which
has neurologically installed a memory of the sequence of actions which need to be 
executed before a certain desire is fulfilled. 
A collection of desires sharing a certain endgame will be a bundle of desires, 
which forms the axis of an identifiable personality. 
Identity of individual is the web of personalities that constitute the total "me" 
and is what is referred to in thought and speech as "I" myself, and as has now been seen, 
there is no true singular "I" or self that is at the root of the illusion of a rockhard seperate self as distinct from eternally flowing process here and Now. 
There is simply this eternally flowing process, 
and the plurality of sub-selves that make up the apparent identity of an individual. 
Each sub-self, each its own living and formidable contender with other subselves, 
is born out of the desire to either gain a pleasure or escape some suffering. 
Even the sub-self that suggests it would have no desire to escape suffering or gain pleasure is itself a manifestation of desire still! 
There is no action to be considered good in itself or evil in itself. 
The action is merely the means by which the object of a certain desire is fulfilled, which cannot be separated from the pursuit of pleasure that is in some sense a trick, as once I've had my pleasure I want more of it; I begin immediately lacking it therefore, and my pursuit of pleasure turns into an escape from the pain of not having it once again, "just one last time", which is the siren of death disguised as a candle for which the moth mistook for a sex call.