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"Hey, I need you to give Ned a call."
"Who?"
"Ned Scott, he's our next speaker."
"The one talking with Neil about making a lot of money in ten minutes?"
"Yes, call him now please..."

It is Friday the 16th of September, year of the monkey of course, 1032 in San Diego, California. I'm at the wealth and abundance intensive hosted by @neilstrauss for The Society International. One of Neil's coaches, George, is asking me to call some unknown man named Ned Scott. All I knew about @ned is that he had something to do with Neil making a lot of money in very little time. Obviously, everyone in the room was excited to hear the talk.

"Are you sure you want me to call him?"
"Yes, just tell him what I wrote on the screen."

I step outside our conference room and nervously dial Ned's number...

"Go for Scott"
Crap, I quickly think, does he prefer Scott? Is Scott his first name...?
"Hi... Scott, this is Anthony calling on behalf of Neil Strauss and The Society, how is your morning going?"
We spoke on and off for a few minutes getting ready for his talk... and I continued to call him Scott.
"Is there anyone there from the steemit community?" Ned asked toward the end of our dialogue.
"Oh, uhh, I can find out, do you want me to? What was it called? Did you say steem?"
"Yes, S T E E M. I'm sure it doesn't matter either way..."
"I'll ask, we will let you know before your talk"

The answer was YES! @anwenbaumeister was there to talk with us about her own amazing experiences with this mysterious... well at the time all I really knew is that she was there...

However, I did not really care about finding an immediate answer to this mystery. Ned Scott is one of the friendliest men I have ever met and I eagerly awaited to hear him speak about... whatever he was there to talk about.

The following hour changed my life. But the change did not take full effect until you read this post.

Hello my friend,

I am so honored you are reading this. Even if you did not make it this far, I am honored you clicked on this post. I know that your time is valuable and I hope you are having as much fun reading this post as I am writing it.

My name is Anthony, but everyone calls me... well, there is a lot of things people call me. Antoane, VIG, Antwizzler, Tony, DJ Mushnasty (I'm lying, I was not so lucky), Ant, Anthernie, Aqua Waters, Caterpillar, Smooth Nose, KiD Go, Ugly (calm down, usually by my best friends)... So many other positive and negative titles have been bestowed upon me throughout my life. That is why I am here. Ok, not because of the NAMES, because of the STORIES behind them. For years, I have struggled with a feeling of isolation. Surrounded by friends and loved ones, I have always felt alone. A loneliness born from fear of being open and honest with another person. This loneliness brought depression and anxiety that drove me away from others and down a hole. It has taken me years to get out of this dark place I created for myself and even begin to connect with another person. Even with the progress I have made, I still struggle connecting with others. It is difficult to share feelings with another person. It is difficult to tell another your dreams and desires, what you hope to accomplish, and who you want to be. For a long time, I used this as an excuse to not fight for happiness... to hope for death.

It is difficult to be honest and vulnerable with a single person... THAT is why I am here. To be honest and vulnerable with the world. I don't remember who said this to me, but it's something I think about often. "Humanity is inherently lonely because nobody will ever fully understand how you think and feel."

I heard that months ago and accepted it as a wall. Why should I try to connect with others? They will not understand me, they cannot... This past weekend another brilliant speaker said, "ask yourself, who you want to be a hero to? Who do you want to fight for?"

I did.

My answer was immediately, the lonely. Those who feel doomed to never connect with another person. I know this is supposed to be an introductory post... I WAS planning on sharing some of interests and experiences... The events I have participated in, the people I have met, the places I have visited... And I will... However, I want to hear more about you first. If you are still reading, you have something to say... I am not saying it is positive... I am saying you are thinking something. I want to hear it.

Steemit, you are officially my journal. I am committing to myself, and anyone strange enough to read my posts, that I will post every day for the next one hundred days. It will not always be journal entries, probably half of  my posts will not be. Even if nobody reads a word I write, steemit you are going to completely change my life and the way I connect with other people. I will be able to approach relationships differently because of my ABILITY to be honest on this platform. If nobody reads my posts, I will still benefit from your existence. However, those who do read my posts, I want to make sure are entertained. I already have a cross country drive planned (I'm moving to Santa Monica from Chicago next month!), dozens of funny videos my friends and I have filmed over the years, and hundreds of stories to tell (verbally, poetically, artfully, photographically)...

I do not want this to only be my journal though, it is all of ours. I hope we can draw one another out of our own minds. The internet does not need to be something experts use to show how individuals are becoming more isolated. It can be something to bring us together. It can be a tool for us to use to open ourselves to others. With one click, we are each able to share ourselves with the world... without having to face it alone.

I encourage you to take advantage of this amazing opportunity. I promise someone will be there to listen.

Sincerely,

...

Whichever name you prefer :)




A picture is worth 1000 words... And you thought this post was already too long...

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My girlfriend Michelle taking pictures while I sleep

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I love animals!  I have lived with dogs, birds, cats, fish, turtles, rabbits, crabs... This is Molly guarding from a storm last night

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In the middle of hosting a radio show

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Dueling as Dumbledore in the movie theater the night of a midnight release party

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My sisters and I in Assisi

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My grandmother and I at a Navy ball

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I first learn of my love of water