I can’t understand why y’all are spending ridiculous amounts of cash to buy Bitcoin.
Here is how I did it:

1 – Stupid to pay $14,000 on Coinbase. I went on ebay and got me a100 at $370 each

https://www.coinspeaker.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/09/cryptocurrencys-future-may-be-meet-aml-bitcoin.jpg

2 – I keep hearing that you have to securely store the coins. So I got me a Self Storage place and I put them all there. That way hackers can’t get to them.

https://primestoragegroup.com/assets/images/gallery/a_space_place_self_storage_02.jpg

3 – Now I’m gonna wait until the price goes really high. Then I’m gonna melt them into alt coins.

http://www.unitedchristianwomen.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/Making-Gold-Fire.png

4 – Then I’m gonna sell them at the flea market, for cash, so that the IRS can’t find my profits.

https://cdn.vox-cdn.com/thumbor/wg26LC9-lNKkKolx2a5H4oDv_f8=/0x167:1600x1067/1600x900/cdn.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_image/image/49844811/dita-von-teese-santa-monica-airport-flea-market-02_2016_06.0.0.jpg

5 – And after that I’ll be buying me that Lambo, y’all are talking about!

https://images.dealer.com/ddc/vehicles/2017/Lamborghini/Aventador/Coupe/perspective/front-right/2017_46.png?impolicy=resize&w=550

You see how simple it is.
Now I must tell you that I am not a professional financial advisor, but hell, I got this.