![yess.png](https://steemitimages.com/DQmdeZwLarGtkcx1b9YnL49X7LT7sA3VcXURLYsS64hzDiM/yess.png)

Sometimes I get greedy.

Because I am working my ass off on here, writing a shit ton of stuff, thinking up ways I can contribute to this amazing space and I am not seeing it come back that much in the form of financial reward. 

And then I get this feeling I need to be doing better, writing way more and write about different topics. Topics that I basically have NO idea about.

And then my head thinks of so-called successful people online who I could ‘copy’ and then translate into my own version of things. 
Which is just COMPLETELY ridiculous.

My brain goes into overdrive and really starts trying to make me have a certain ‘look’, a certain way of talking or even what I am going to talk about.
None of which is TRULY me.

And then I get a wake up call from myself and say ‘Ash, what are you doing???’ 
And I snap out of it.

Because I know that if I were to copy someone else’s words, ideas, whole damn persona, it’s not going to make me happy, and it sure as hell won’t really make an impact on this Steemit world because y’all would see RIGHT through me. Right? My lovely intuitive beautiful gems of Steemit. 

It’s a simple case of coming back into old energy patterns of thinking. 
Thoughts like how I NEED to make ‘it’ and how it HAS to happen AS FAST AS FUCKING POSSIBLE.
Which really is not a very loving way of being present with it. Is it? 

And this is NOT the way I am going to do things on here. 
Or in the rest of my life.

I am here to be present.
I am here to be authentic.
I am here to be real. 

And this post is a part of that.

To show how my mind can get greedy as fuck and want to MAKE IT BIG ON STEEMIT. 

Which is utter nonsense. 

The only thing I can do is show up, be present and give it my all, in all of my rawness.

And that is WAY enough.

And this relates back to our society.

We are somehow forced to act and think all the same yet we revere those that are their true authentic self.

Well I say a fuck you to all of that.

And I am just going to let my real self freak flag fly! 

*Pic at the top made by me in Canva with illustrations from Pixabay.com* 

BIG love,

Ashley

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Made by the wonderful @stellabelle
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