Just the basic notion that I don't think it's possible to give to others what one does not possess oneself! Finally, when I did try for the first time in my life (aged 40+) to turn a gaze of 'love' on me, myself, the response shocked me - I *recoiled*! It was almost a physical thing (though in my head) and had powerful and unexpected push-back. I'm saying that if one wants to feel love and compassion for others, one has to know what it means by targeting the self with those feeling first...and of course I have no idea if you have or you have not :D
That's what I'm saying....