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![Final - copia.png](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/beautifulwreck/23uFq8ngJqbzCZG9mqDXxGuBMRGSUwKU9ukFGRcs6HB4eHYm6teAPbgCVjACnQ7cVjDBH.png)
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#### How am I doing so far?
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Today, I feel a lot better than I did last week. I've been learning how to surf the tides of my darkness. These days, when I do something good, I'm able to give myself a pat on the back, a few words of appreciation. I also know (and accept) myself a lot more.

Last week, after months (maybe years) of pondering, I made a final decision. It was incredibly hard. With the choice I made, I prioritized myself and my mental health above anything else, because I really don't want to die. I'd rather change things for the better, even if it's hard, even if it costs me a great deal. I'm sure I made the right move; still, a part of me still feels abandoned and awfully *misplaced*.
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#### What are the *scenes from the void* ?
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**Scenes from the void** is a series I started on my sketchbook with the intention of portraying the darkest corners of my mind: self-harm, hate, horror. If you're interested, you can see the previous ones following the links listed below.

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[Scenes from the void pt. 1: mixed feelings, a heart in a blender and a knife](https://peakd.com/hive-174301/@beautifulwreck/scenes-from-the-void-pt-1-mixed-feelings-a-heart-in-a-blender-and-a-knife)
[Scenes from the void pt. 2: my hands, my darkness, my blood](https://peakd.com/hive-174301/@beautifulwreck/scenes-from-the-void-pt-1-my-hands-my-darkness-my-blood)
[Scenes from the void pt. 3: dissolve, dilute, delete](https://peakd.com/hive-174301/@beautifulwreck/scenes-from-the-void-pt-3-dissolve-dilute-delete)
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As any keen observer might notice, these scenes aren't inherently ugly, nor are humans. There's always a little beauty in every mess. Through the right eyes, even the wreck we are can be beautiful.

It's been a whole month since my first post here on Hive. I managed to put through twenty pieces of my soul for you to read, judge, acknowledge, or ignore.  It's all okay because they were actually meant for me. At the beginning of this process, I promised myself I would be consistent and really put in the work, no matter the outcome or the environment I was in. Some days I've had to bargain with myself, to yield, and that's okay. Most days have been a success.
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#### <center>The rough sketch behind the scene</center>
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![scan1.png](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/beautifulwreck/23viP5pK7tJkYc6qb1zLf2Yv2XJw3xtUt9ibmevkSQxLf8L4ET5UxqMXB85H7zHBZN86F.png)
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The concept for today's post came to be one of those days my *pain* wouldn't let me *paint*. It was past 10 p.m., and I felt frustrated and a failure. Then, my eyes got caught on a small notebook I keep on my desk, and I thought "why not?". I proceeded to scribble a few sketches for future projects, and you wouldn't believe the joy it brought me. So, here I present to you **"Misplaced"**: a drawing and a poem.
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![1b.jpg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/beautifulwreck/23uFeNSuGuEpAVjW2TrJ4tiiEMg2KD9HUPkCUpMUkGG3QjyjeDwLEz3eaJHRSVhFU45Ni.jpg)
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|![2a.jpg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/beautifulwreck/Eq9YcybyibrRfJ2uDZV6rYvpQHtKtBV7jy9fKizfN6NHWzqsws1WCiEACpWAGzyvbqL.jpg)|![2b.jpg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/beautifulwreck/23y9B4orHnE5WfNUX7YLHBkVPDJFvaMEb4fdNzrfBFaiVhNboKxSAPe1pM9oYTkYGwkDa.jpg)|
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#### <center>The final art, straight from the void I am</center>
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![Final.png](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/beautifulwreck/23viPNgGmcaqRw9PeZsbppYAxa7aWFoLN5qH3S2QXxA5zvN2Di8BmtgqKTVTeUYxgBySx.jpg)

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I think
I might have misplaced
my head
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or was it my heart
or was it my hope
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I don't know the difference anymore
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the monsters inside
they pull, they tear, they break
they shatter
my dreams
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I pick up the pieces
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sharp as they are
they make me bleed
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I don't care anymore
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the voices inside
they scream, they cry, they curse
I blame
myself
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I turn my head
as far as it goes
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I twist it
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I rip my skin off
trying to get away
trying to silence them
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and although I broke myself in half
at least
&nbsp;
I don't hear them anymore
&nbsp;
or do I
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oh
&nbsp;
I've tried to run
but there's no hiding
from myself
&nbsp;
would you please hug me
&nbsp;
so I can fit back together
&nbsp;
would you
&nbsp;
can I
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<sup>I'd like to thank you for reading this. I hope my words resonated with you in some way. If they did, or even if they didn't, I'd like to further connect with you, so I invite you to drop a comment and I'll answer it as soon as I can.</sup>

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<sup>**All images & text belong to me, © @beautifulwreck.**</sup>
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