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Young dude, sometimes a relationship is just a lovely distraction. It is, nevertheless, still a source of distraction.

Your adolescent years through your early to mid-twenties should be spent building your dreams with abandon. At that point, you should go all-in. **Be devoted in a healthy way**.

Not dividing your time, attention, and limited resources with someone's daughter, then dealing with mental distress and mood swings, and then complaining about chopping breakfast on the deadline.

You're fucked once emotions enter the picture, man! The heart has a habit of causing havoc with the mind. They're inextricably linked.

You might try taking a relationship seriously in your late twenties or early thirties, if you prefer.

Except if you're lucky enough to meet the second last good lady on the planet in your early twenties, who matches your energy, understands your drive, mission, and purpose, and creates an enabling physical, mental, emotional, and psychological environment for it.

Otherwise, it almost never turns out well. You might take twice or three times as long to get things done as your friends who don't have the same distractions as you do.

Women are made to be in relationships with older guys. Not 'Sugar Daddy' old (though many of them enjoy it that way but won't confess it publicly), but older. For a reason, man was created first. It exudes the aura of a protecting figurehead, provider, or leader, among other qualities.

That's why, especially in these parts of the world, a 25-year-old woman will most likely marry a man who is at least 35 or 40 years old, if not somewhat older. It's usually a 5-7 (if too soon) or 10-12 (middle) or 15-20-year gap. It isn't a rule, but it is common. In Nigeria and most of Africa, we observe this in at least 7 out of every 10 marriages.

It's just the way these things work. Women mature at a much faster rate. A woman is totally mature and ready to raise a family, as well as everything else that comes with her duty, at the age of 25. It's a key priority for the majority of them. However, a man marrying around the age of 25 may be placing himself under a lot of unnecessary stress, and I'm not just talking about financial stress. He may come from a wealthy family, therefore money isn't an issue for him. Other mental, emotional, and psychological elements, for example, play a role. Furthermore, he is still a boy. Marriage is a privilege reserved for men, not for boys!

People tend to expect a man to have a strong financial position and a clear purpose and direction in life once he reaches the age of 30. If he's a man who wants to get married and start a family, it should be obvious by his mid-30s.

It's sad, just sad, if you're not successful as a guy at 40 (by whatever criteria you use to define success other than simply breathing and existing and catching a boat every day). It's unfortunate that there are no timetables for achievement in life.

Because they are in the age group of guys who are believed to have their life worked out, women are more likely to wind up with men in this category.  That is why she refused to marry her 25-year-old partner. Call it materialistic or whatever you want to call it, but that's all there is to it. Most of you young men reading this, your wives are still in Junior Secondary School, and others are still in Primary School.

**That is why, young guy, you should work hard on your goals as soon as possible.** That's why I feel bad for the boys (16-19, 20-25) who are out having fun. My nigga, this is when the iron is red hot. Bro, strike, and strike hard!! It's not that anyone else can't do it, but if you can acquire discipline, concentrate, and keep to a schedule at this age, man! You'd be IMPOSSIBLE to stop!

Because this is the age group in which it is so easy to be influenced and sidetracked (particularly between the ages of 16 and 19), but it is also the most productive and active period of your life, my nigga! This is where you set the tone for the rest of your life in your 30s. If I had a boy between the ages of 13 and 17, he should have made significant progress toward his career goals and life's purpose. Catch 'em while they're still young! That is the motto.

It's time to start building in your twenties. Build, build, build, my nigga! You could retire in your 30s if you work hard enough and clever enough. It's one thing to retire in your 40s and just relax and mellow, but consider doing so in your 30s.  Those things you're depriving yourself of right now, you'll be able to get with the flick of a finger. Bro, imagine yourself in the future. Project!!

I always feel horrible when I see elderly folks who are still working in their 50s, 60s, and 70s. What is it for, na? It all starts with the seeds you plant in your twenties. If you want to be satisfied in the future, you must master the skill of depriving yourself of immediate gratification. You can pay now and play later, or you can play now and pay later, but you must pay the price. It's an absolute must!

I remain your favourite writer, Blackdovy.