...  on my mind. The void you left is tremendous, and the tears...they still trickle. I’m not convinced they will ever stop. Maybe just the time between the breakdowns will grow. I have yet to have you visit me in my dreams as your brothers have done, and that is a tough pill to swallow. I’ll keep waiting though because the morning I wake after seeing you again, will be the best since before you left my side. I still hear you sometimes although it’s gotten better. A few weeks back as I pulled in the driveway, I got super excited to see you and Maya. It was just a fleeting second before reality smashed me in the face again...I miss that feeling. The excitement of you guys greeting me at the door once coming home  is something I’ll keep with me forever. I sat with Clover the other night and we watched videos of you and the rest of the pack and we just laughed. The 4 of you howling for minutes...you being the highest pitched and completely off key had me in stitches. Then like clockwork I’d interrupt with “want a treeeeeeat?” and you would all stop on a dime. I’d give anything to have just one more day with you guys...healthy and full of life. But it doesn’t work that way and I have to learn to accept that. I’m grateful for the 16 amazing years we had together. You were my baby girl, my troublemaking angel, and the most loving friend/comic relief that I could have been blessed with. I miss our cuddles and our talks. I even miss caring for you in the late stages. I’d get so frustrated some nights and I miss it like crazy. I feel like it gave me a purpose...and without you here that purpose seems a bit lost. You’ll be happy to know that everyone is doing ok. Maya is strong and being the lady pup standing has allowed us to connect with a bit more one on one time. She even joined us for a trip to Pittsburg which was awesome. Man, you would have loved it. Deer all over in the mountains and woods. Maya was going nuts! Anyway, I refrained from writing anything really personal for a bit. I even took a break from here for a while as I didn’t want to be too much of a downer. But with 2 months hitting today and in a few days your brother Bandit’s passing hitting the 5 year mark...I just had to break my silence. Tough week I guess. I dunno. Anyway, I miss you more than these stupid words can describe. I wish I could cuddle with you tonight and sing you songs. I wish I could give you a Greenie so I could see your eyes light up. I wish for anyone who reads this to at some point in their life, be filled with the insane amount of pure joy and love that you shared with me. This world would be a better place if that were the case. I love you Bindi girl.<br/><br/>[![3aeb1e9df3cb106c15a4780b62a1b084](https://s3.us-east-1.amazonaws.com/appics-content/3aeb1e9df3cb106c15a4780b62a1b084-640)](https://appics.com/referenced.html?ref=steemit.com&type=image&id=93657&url=https://s3.us-east-1.amazonaws.com/appics-content/3aeb1e9df3cb106c15a4780b62a1b084-640&caption=Two%20months%20ago%20today%20you%20left%20this%20world,%20and%20not%20an%20hour%20goes%20by%20where%20you%20aren%E2%80%99t%20on%20my%20mind.%20The%20void%20you%20left%20is%20tremendous,%20and%20the%20tears...they%20still%20trickle.%20I%E2%80%99m%20not%20convinced%20they%20will%20ever%20stop.%20Maybe%20just%20the%20time%20between%20the%20breakdowns%20will%20grow.%20I%20have%20yet%20to%20have%20you%20visit%20me%20in%20my%20dreams%20as%20your%20brothers%20have%20done,%20and%20that%20is%20a%20tough%20pill%20to%20swallow.%20I%E2%80%99ll%20keep%20waiting%20though%20because%20the%20morning%20I%20wake%20after%20seeing%20you%20again,%20will%20be%20the%20best%20since%20before%20you%20left%20my%20side.%20I%20still%20hear%20you%20sometimes%20although%20it%E2%80%99s%20gotten%20better.%20A%20few%20weeks%20back%20as%20I%20pulled%20in%20the%20driveway,%20I%20got%20super%20excited%20to%20see%20you%20and%20Maya.%20It%20was%20just%20a%20fleeting%20second%20before%20reality%20smashed%20me%20in%20the%20face%20again...I%20miss%20that%20feeling.%20The%20excitement%20of%20you%20guys%20greeting%20me%20at%20the%20door%20once%20coming%20home%20%20is%20something%20I%E2%80%99ll%20keep%20with%20me%20forever.%20I%20sat%20with%20Clover%20the%20other%20night%20and%20we%20watched%20videos%20of%20you%20and%20the%20rest%20of%20the%20pack%20and%20we%20just%20laughed.%20The%204%20of%20you%20howling%20for%20minutes...you%20being%20the%20highest%20pitched%20and%20completely%20off%20key%20had%20me%20in%20stitches.%20Then%20like%20clockwork%20I%E2%80%99d%20interrupt%20with%20%E2%80%9Cwant%20a%20treeeeeeat?%E2%80%9D%20and%20you%20would%20all%20stop%20on%20a%20dime.%20I%E2%80%99d%20give%20anything%20to%20have%20just%20one%20more%20day%20with%20you%20guys...healthy%20and%20full%20of%20life.%20But%20it%20doesn%E2%80%99t%20work%20that%20way%20and%20I%20have%20to%20learn%20to%20accept%20that.%20I%E2%80%99m%20grateful%20for%20the%2016%20amazing%20years%20we%20had%20together.%20You%20were%20my%20baby%20girl,%20my%20troublemaking%20angel,%20and%20the%20most%20loving%20friend/comic%20relief%20that%20I%20could%20have%20been%20blessed%20with.%20I%20miss%20our%20cuddles%20and%20our%20talks.%20I%20even%20miss%20caring%20for%20you%20in%20the%20late%20stages.%20I%E2%80%99d%20get%20so%20frustrated%20some%20nights%20and%20I%20miss%20it%20like%20crazy.%20I%20feel%20like%20it%20gave%20me%20a%20purpose...and%20without%20you%20here%20that%20purpose%20seems%20a%20bit%20lost.%20You%E2%80%99ll%20be%20happy%20to%20know%20that%20everyone%20is%20doing%20ok.%20Maya%20is%20strong%20and%20being%20the%20lady%20pup%20standing%20has%20allowed%20us%20to%20connect%20with%20a%20bit%20more%20one%20on%20one%20time.%20She%20even%20joined%20us%20for%20a%20trip%20to%20Pittsburg%20which%20was%20awesome.%20Man,%20you%20would%20have%20loved%20it.%20Deer%20all%20over%20in%20the%20mountains%20and%20woods.%20Maya%20was%20going%20nuts!%20Anyway,%20I%20refrained%20from%20writing%20anything%20really%20personal%20for%20a%20bit.%20I%20even%20took%20a%20break%20from%20here%20for%20a%20while%20as%20I%20didn%E2%80%99t%20want%20to%20be%20too%20much%20of%20a%20downer.%20But%20with%202%20months%20hitting%20today%20and%20in%20a%20few%20days%20your%20brother%20Bandit%E2%80%99s%20passing%20hitting%20the%205%20year%20mark...I%20just%20had%20to%20break%20my%20silence.%20Tough%20week%20I%20guess.%20I%20dunno.%20Anyway,%20I%20miss%20you%20more%20than%20these%20stupid%20words%20can%20describe.%20I%20wish%20I%20could%20cuddle%20with%20you%20tonight%20and%20sing%20you%20songs.%20I%20wish%20I%20could%20give%20you%20a%20Greenie%20so%20I%20could%20see%20your%20eyes%20light%20up.%20I%20wish%20for%20anyone%20who%20reads%20this%20to%20at%20some%20point%20in%20their%20life,%20be%20filled%20with%20the%20insane%20amount%20of%20pure%20joy%20and%20love%20that%20you%20shared%20with%20me.%20This%20world%20would%20be%20a%20better%20place%20if%20that%20were%20the%20case.%20I%20love%20you%20Bindi%20girl.&category=animal&hashtags=dogs+animals+family+love&author=blewitt&profileImageUrl=https://s3.us-east-1.amazonaws.com/appics-content/profileImages/2315-1566829129039-640&permlink=appics-v1-appics-im-93657)<br/><br/>[![Powered by APPICS - visit us at appics.com](https://s3.eu-central-1.amazonaws.com/appics-staging/steemit_banner.gif)](https://appics.com/referenced.html?ref=steemit.com&type=image&id=93657&url=https://s3.us-east-1.amazonaws.com/appics-content/3aeb1e9df3cb106c15a4780b62a1b084-640&caption=Two%20months%20ago%20today%20you%20left%20this%20world,%20and%20not%20an%20hour%20goes%20by%20where%20you%20aren%E2%80%99t%20on%20my%20mind.%20The%20void%20you%20left%20is%20tremendous,%20and%20the%20tears...they%20still%20trickle.%20I%E2%80%99m%20not%20convinced%20they%20will%20ever%20stop.%20Maybe%20just%20the%20time%20between%20the%20breakdowns%20will%20grow.%20I%20have%20yet%20to%20have%20you%20visit%20me%20in%20my%20dreams%20as%20your%20brothers%20have%20done,%20and%20that%20is%20a%20tough%20pill%20to%20swallow.%20I%E2%80%99ll%20keep%20waiting%20though%20because%20the%20morning%20I%20wake%20after%20seeing%20you%20again,%20will%20be%20the%20best%20since%20before%20you%20left%20my%20side.%20I%20still%20hear%20you%20sometimes%20although%20it%E2%80%99s%20gotten%20better.%20A%20few%20weeks%20back%20as%20I%20pulled%20in%20the%20driveway,%20I%20got%20super%20excited%20to%20see%20you%20and%20Maya.%20It%20was%20just%20a%20fleeting%20second%20before%20reality%20smashed%20me%20in%20the%20face%20again...I%20miss%20that%20feeling.%20The%20excitement%20of%20you%20guys%20greeting%20me%20at%20the%20door%20once%20coming%20home%20%20is%20something%20I%E2%80%99ll%20keep%20with%20me%20forever.%20I%20sat%20with%20Clover%20the%20other%20night%20and%20we%20watched%20videos%20of%20you%20and%20the%20rest%20of%20the%20pack%20and%20we%20just%20laughed.%20The%204%20of%20you%20howling%20for%20minutes...you%20being%20the%20highest%20pitched%20and%20completely%20off%20key%20had%20me%20in%20stitches.%20Then%20like%20clockwork%20I%E2%80%99d%20interrupt%20with%20%E2%80%9Cwant%20a%20treeeeeeat?%E2%80%9D%20and%20you%20would%20all%20stop%20on%20a%20dime.%20I%E2%80%99d%20give%20anything%20to%20have%20just%20one%20more%20day%20with%20you%20guys...healthy%20and%20full%20of%20life.%20But%20it%20doesn%E2%80%99t%20work%20that%20way%20and%20I%20have%20to%20learn%20to%20accept%20that.%20I%E2%80%99m%20grateful%20for%20the%2016%20amazing%20years%20we%20had%20together.%20You%20were%20my%20baby%20girl,%20my%20troublemaking%20angel,%20and%20the%20most%20loving%20friend/comic%20relief%20that%20I%20could%20have%20been%20blessed%20with.%20I%20miss%20our%20cuddles%20and%20our%20talks.%20I%20even%20miss%20caring%20for%20you%20in%20the%20late%20stages.%20I%E2%80%99d%20get%20so%20frustrated%20some%20nights%20and%20I%20miss%20it%20like%20crazy.%20I%20feel%20like%20it%20gave%20me%20a%20purpose...and%20without%20you%20here%20that%20purpose%20seems%20a%20bit%20lost.%20You%E2%80%99ll%20be%20happy%20to%20know%20that%20everyone%20is%20doing%20ok.%20Maya%20is%20strong%20and%20being%20the%20lady%20pup%20standing%20has%20allowed%20us%20to%20connect%20with%20a%20bit%20more%20one%20on%20one%20time.%20She%20even%20joined%20us%20for%20a%20trip%20to%20Pittsburg%20which%20was%20awesome.%20Man,%20you%20would%20have%20loved%20it.%20Deer%20all%20over%20in%20the%20mountains%20and%20woods.%20Maya%20was%20going%20nuts!%20Anyway,%20I%20refrained%20from%20writing%20anything%20really%20personal%20for%20a%20bit.%20I%20even%20took%20a%20break%20from%20here%20for%20a%20while%20as%20I%20didn%E2%80%99t%20want%20to%20be%20too%20much%20of%20a%20downer.%20But%20with%202%20months%20hitting%20today%20and%20in%20a%20few%20days%20your%20brother%20Bandit%E2%80%99s%20passing%20hitting%20the%205%20year%20mark...I%20just%20had%20to%20break%20my%20silence.%20Tough%20week%20I%20guess.%20I%20dunno.%20Anyway,%20I%20miss%20you%20more%20than%20these%20stupid%20words%20can%20describe.%20I%20wish%20I%20could%20cuddle%20with%20you%20tonight%20and%20sing%20you%20songs.%20I%20wish%20I%20could%20give%20you%20a%20Greenie%20so%20I%20could%20see%20your%20eyes%20light%20up.%20I%20wish%20for%20anyone%20who%20reads%20this%20to%20at%20some%20point%20in%20their%20life,%20be%20filled%20with%20the%20insane%20amount%20of%20pure%20joy%20and%20love%20that%20you%20shared%20with%20me.%20This%20world%20would%20be%20a%20better%20place%20if%20that%20were%20the%20case.%20I%20love%20you%20Bindi%20girl.&category=animal&hashtags=dogs+animals+family+love&author=blewitt&profileImageUrl=https://s3.us-east-1.amazonaws.com/appics-content/profileImages/2315-1566829129039-640&permlink=appics-v1-appics-im-93657)