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I'm sure a lot of you have went through a similar thing. In regards to this platform it might be over what to post and how much time to spend on here.   Maybe it has to do with crypto currencies in general.  What to invest in and how much to focus on it. The last couple of days went really well as far as prices surging which partially gave me a mental boost.  

## The Struggle I Have Been Going Through   
A big mental struggle for me is the type of content I post.   I actually think the most valuable content I can post is information about crypto currencies.  My videos where I just did the screencast and went through different things were honestly my most valuable types of videos.  Videos like this about EOS.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=scoxdJ-S_3Q

YouTube still hasn't monetized me and to be honest that was really upsetting.  I basically thought that it was going to be a given but they have drug their feet so much on monetizing people now even when I have never had any type of strike against me on any of my channels and was already a verified partner.   Basically it felt like I wasted my time and I'm still waiting around for that channel to be monetized.   I uploaded those same videos to DTube and got a few upvotes on them at the time but nothing major.   

Those videos are too much effort in a lot of ways to sit there and crank them out like that unless I'm able to monetize them in several ways and there are solid payouts.  If I just post quick posts I don't feel like it really does anything for anyone unless the picture is particularly relevant and interesting like this one.   
![eos-hodler.jpg](https://gateway.ipfs.io/ipfs/QmbxGZ8LivmCwV3f8B3KzFQdV9oFX1JskkfwxGAVdy2TGd)
Sometimes I actually feel like I'm going to have to puke out a post just to get something out there.   One of the worst things about that is that I really can't really focus on what I would consider more valuable content.  Another issue is that when I do create more valuable content it doesn't mean it will get a higher payout at this point and for the most part we don't have other platforms we can really post on.   Golos is next to worthless to post on.   Sola is more short form content and it isn't clear to me if you have more SOL if it gives you more influence.  It is interesting though.   We have others around the corner but they aren't here yet.   The other one that seems to be a given is YouTube but they won't monetize me and the click through rate is so low on the affiliate links I have posted on YouTube.   

## My Preoccupation With Programming   
I have done a lot of web programming and honestly I don't like it but for some reason I keep wanting to program something for STEEM or for EOS.   The issue is it would take months just to ramp up and be at a proficient level and gain a better understanding.   Yesterday and today I kept getting hung up looking at information about EOS Dawn 3.0 and IPFS and driving myself crazy thinking about what would be possible and if I should start working on it.   Last summer I was saying that I was going to program something for STEEM and intended on doing it and the thing that made the most sense was to do a gig economy type website and even talked to some of the different groups working on that but ultimately I knew it was going to take way too much time and as the price of STEEM dropped below a dollar in late summer early fall and it was a struggle just to keep posting and earning much of anything.  Kind of like the period we just went through.   I actually powered down a lot of my account and invested in other crypto which played out better for me than if I would have kept it powered up.   

## There Are Way Better Programmers On Here Than Me
There are too many to count just to name a few @furion , @lukestokes, @jesta , @good-karma are light years ahead of me on programming.   Being Witnesses really provides that support to where they don't need to post content all the time.   Why don't I become a Witness?  Unfortunately I know I won't get to the level of support to be even in the top 50 so it would be unprofitable for me.   I would need to gain a lot more power myself and refocus my efforts on here to really gain any level of support that would push me to a point where it would be profitable to run a Witness.  

Even if I took weeks or months to just focus on programming something for STEEM or EOS it wouldn't be anything usable.   I'm just being honest with myself.   It would take that long just to ramp up and start doing something that would lead to something functional.   There is a lot of existing code to piggy back off of at this point but there would still be a lot of ramp up and even figuring out what does what.   It isn't easy stuff.   

I guess the reason I keep getting drawn to the idea of doing something like that is that if somehow I was able to program something usable eventually I think that type of thing could be the most valuable to the platform and could give me street AKA blockchain credit among the more powerful accounts on here.  

## If I Had The Resources I Would ..........
1) Have someone film me and editing videos for any "lifestyle" blog type stuff.   
2) Focus on doing more educational crypto currency related videos.  Also have an employee editing those and making thumbnails.  
3) Hire someone to manage my eCommerce business.  I'm honestly sick of dealing with it in a lot of ways. Days like this don't come around often when you don't have time to focus on it.  
![lots-of-orders.jpg](https://gateway.ipfs.io/ipfs/QmSXGmQumwxRT3roJm2tMQhj6bhYiBLSgrHDCPmZkgCZzo)

## Moving Forward With The Alliance 
Some of you might have read my previous post about forming a more formalized alliances for trading upvotes. It is really one of our only ways to compete against a lot of people hogging their power and also the fact that most people are just delegating their power to the paid upvote bots to gain passively.   There is a lot of interest in this for those who are wanting to still create content.  We are going to try to do this for the next month or two to see how it works out and see if it is putting us ahead.   

If you look at my voting patterns you will see that it is hard for me to even stay above 50% power because I vote for so many people and upvote comments a lot.  https://steemd.com/@brianphobos 

![bp-voteing.png](https://gateway.ipfs.io/ipfs/QmdYHQjv3FuubRm7XsRRGwZhKaqVQoKAuJCpmkdBfcugo3)
http://www.steemreports.com/outgoing-votes-info/?account=brianphobos&days=30
7.2% self voting is pretty low and I'm voting for a lot of people. To be honest with you there are a lot of people who I have on my autovoter who have never voted for me or so rarely vote for me it is pretty unnoticeable.   

Really when it boils down to it a lot of times I feel like I'm giving more than I'm receiving except in a couple situations.  Let's just say if a couple things don't fall in place then I'm eating grubs in the back yard off my posts but if a couple of the angel votes come in then I'm ball'n out of control eating canned tuna over here.  

#### So yeah..... we are going forward with the Alliance and really going to look out for each other.  We will see how that goes and then maybe we can refocus our efforts on more important content.    
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<p>Thank you for reading my post and please consider following me <a href="https://steemit.com/@brianphobos">@brianphobos</a></p>