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About nine Fourth of Julys ago, my husband and I decided to take out our canoe. So we drove down the street to the dock and got our canoe off the rooftop of our car before realizing we had forgotten our life preservers. It's illegal in Florida to canoe without life preservers. We resolved that rather than put the canoe back on the roof of the car and drive back home to pick up the life preservers

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we would stay in the shallow water .

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We were minding our business, enjoying the lovely Florida summer day, tooling around in about two feet deep water. 

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When suddenly we were approached by boat police. 

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They coldly and smugly informed us that we could not be in the water without life preservers and told us they would escort us back to the dock. And these motherfuckers  followed us on their speed boat at about 2 miles per hour for about 45 minutes until we reached the dock.
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I watched as they approached people IN THEIR OWN YARDS who lived along the water. I was absolutely astounded at the  audacity of these people.  When we arrived at the dock, the miscreants swiftly wrote us a ticket.

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I. Was. Seething. 

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The feeling I had was akin to being stolen from- that feeling of being violated. I was powerless. This was *my* goddamn life. I can do whatever I want with my body. I can cut it up and scrape it and put things into it, and even kill it if I want to. 

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Who in the hell did these people think they were asserting ownership over my own body?

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Now, the next thing that was absolutely terrifying to me was how my relatives reacted when I told them how beyond raging I was about this situation. They were beside themselves that I would put myself in danger of being on my canoe without life preservers and implored me to see the good of the cops who were looking out for my best interest. These laws, they explained, were for the good of the people. The people *must* know that they *mustn't* drive without seat belts and take out their boats without life preservers!!!

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I was goddamn lost and wondered how in the fuck I was going to get along in this crazy-ass world of twisted, confused people. 

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About two years later I found libertarianism. And what a relief to my brain it was!

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