I've shared bits and pieces of this particular page in progress of **"I Thought It Would Be Zombies..."** in the past, but I've recently gotten back to it *(I tend to skip around a lot!)* and am reworking some areas and completing the unfinished panels and details. I'd even previously started to ink the page, but scrapped what had been done there and will be starting from scratch.

I know I should be concentrating on "finished, not perfect" as discussed in the first [**Trial by Comics: Exposé**](https://steemit.com/trialbycomics/@kommienezuspadt/trial-by-comics-expose-a-new-interview-series-w-professional-comic-creators), which you should be reading if you haven't already! But what can I say... I still have a hard time letting go.

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Anyways... this isn't as much an update post as just a general rant; or as I call it, a *blaagh*, and attempt to keep at least a bare minimum of exposure and participation on *Steem*. My last active post just paid out, meaning it's been over a week with only a few comments to show for it. Rest assured I still read and vote obsessively!

Lately I feel like I'm taking a beating, thus the appropriateness of this page and the title idea of art imitating life! I think we can all relate to the crypto market dropping like a rock. The arc of Dave's body flying through the air to the pavement below is a nice metaphor for most of the value charts right now! But, Dave's getting back up and I still believe the same will hold true for crypto and *Steem*. I haven't lost my enthusiasm or interest in this grand experiment at all.

My main gut punch right now has come in the form of a family member being diagnosed with cancer. The first tumor was only just discovered Monday and there's still little information on the spread of the disease, severity, and prognosis. Needless to say, I think I'd rather just take a good left hook from a troll right now than feel the way I do. 

I don't live in close proximity to my family which makes it all the more frustrating. Nor do I have a job that allows me much control over my schedule and time. I wish *Steem* was mooning, or that I'd already built myself a career in art that granted me more personal and financial freedom. Obviously I'll be offering all the support I can. But I guess in addition I just feel a desire to channel the excess feelings of frustration and anger into improving myself and my situation, so that maybe I'll feel just a little bit less useless in the future. That desire is of course at war with the desire to climb in bed and pull the covers over my head amid feelings of depression and dread... so we'll see which course wins out! I'm pretty sure it'll be a manic seesaw, with some days being bed days and others being flurries of productivity.

Please don't worry about me or take pity! For the few of you who read and converse with me, I really feel like you all are part of my extended family and just wanted to vent a bit. Plus, I don't want the label of being a *"fair weather Steemian"* and you all thinking I'm *"ghosting"* because of any recent developments in *Steem* or crypto. I still love this blockchain, but in the weeks to come my energy and mood for it might both be a bit depressed, so please forgive me. In a nutshell, this is my way of saying, *"It's not you... it's me."*

Alright, time for that covers over the head thing for now, in all fairness it is bedtime... Take care everyone. Hug your loved ones, chase your dreams, and keep *Steemin'*. That's what I'll be shooting for at least.

## -Bryan "the Imp" Imhoff

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