"The Bulwark's Shadow" - A Novel in Progress via Steemit (Part II, Chapter 1)
fiction·@bucho·
0.000 HBD"The Bulwark's Shadow" - A Novel in Progress via Steemit (Part II, Chapter 1)
 I'm posting up the chapters of this uncompleted book as I hope the Steemit community might offer up its criticism (which would, in turn, force me to finish it, honestly). Started in 2008, this was my first foray into novel writing and was my undergraduate thesis required to graduate. The story is about an executioner in the not-too-distant future. Executioners are highly trained individuals with extensive educations built to help them execute their prisoners in the exact same manner that the prisoner's victims died. This is called the law of retaliation or _lex talionis_; you may know it better as "eye for an eye." Because I was also getting my degree in philosophy, I wanted to explore the ethics involved. While I feel I'm a better writer now and could certainly expand most of this book, I also really enjoy criticism as I'm usually too close to the work to see what's working and what's not (though in this case, there's plenty that I feel is not working). So please...feel free to criticize the work if you'd like, but be constructive about it. Simply saying "this part isn't good" doesn't tell me much; don't hesitate to tell me why it's not good or offer up possible alternatives to make it better. Thanks in advance! *** Previous Sections/Chapters: [Pt. I, Ch. One](https://steemit.com/fiction/@bucho/the-bulwark-s-shadow-a-novel-in-progress-via-steemit-chapter-1) [Pt. I, Ch. Two](https://steemit.com/fiction/@bucho/the-bulwark-s-shadow-a-novel-in-progress-via-steemit-chapter-2) [Pt. I, Ch. Three](https://steemit.com/fiction/@bucho/the-bulwark-s-shadow-a-novel-in-progress-via-steemit-chapter-3) [ Pt. I, Ch. Four](https://steemit.com/fiction/@bucho/tgjcj-the-bulwark-s-shadow-a-novel-in-progress-via-steemit-chapter-4) [Pt. I, Ch. Five](https://steemit.com/fiction/@bucho/the-bulwark-s-shadow-a-novel-in-progress-via-steemit-chapter-5) [Pt. I, Ch. Six](https://steemit.com/fiction/@bucho/the-bulwark-s-shadow-a-novel-in-progress-via-steemit-part-i-chapter-6) [Pt. I, Ch. Seven](https://steemit.com/fiction/@bucho/the-bulwark-s-shadow-a-novel-in-progress-via-steemit-part-i-chapter-7) [Pt. I, Ch. Eight](https://steemit.com/fiction/@bucho/the-bulwark-s-shadow-a-novel-in-progress-via-steemit-part-i-chapter-8) [Pt. I, Ch. Nine](https://steemit.com/fiction/@bucho/the-bulwark-s-shadow-a-novel-in-progress-via-steemit-part-i-chapter-9) [Pt. I, Ch. Ten](https://steemit.com/fiction/@bucho/the-bulwark-s-shadow-a-novel-in-progress-via-steemit-part-i-chapter-10) [Pt. I, Ch. Eleven](https://steemit.com/fiction/@bucho/the-bulwark-s-shadow-a-novel-in-progress-via-steemit-part-i-chapter-11) [Pt. I, Ch. Twelve](https://steemit.com/fiction/@bucho/the-bulwark-s-shadow-a-novel-in-progress-via-steemit-part-i-chapter-12) [Pt. I, Ch. Thirteen](https://steemit.com/fiction/@bucho/the-bulwark-s-shadow-a-novel-in-progress-via-steemit-part-i-chapter-13) [Pt. I, Ch. Fourteen](https://steemit.com/writing/@bucho/the-bulwark-s-shadow-a-novel-in-progress-via-steemit-part-i-chapter-14) [Pt. I, Ch. Fifteen](https://steemit.com/fiction/@bucho/the-bulwark-s-shadow-a-novel-in-progress-via-steemit-part-i-chapter-15) [Pt. I, Ch. Sixteen](https://steemit.com/fiction/@bucho/the-bulwark-s-shadow-a-novel-in-progress-via-steemit-part-i-chapter-16-the-end-of-part-i) *** PART II _“Become accustomed to the belief that death is nothing to us. For all good and evil consists in sensation, but death is deprivation of sensation. And, therefore, a right understanding that death is nothing to us makes the mortality of life enjoyable, not because it adds to it an infinite span of time, but because it takes away the craving for immortality.”_ Epicurus *** It was whispered between the other inmates that Segregation from the overall populace is the first step of your last year. Most of us laughed it off until we were here long enough to see a pattern and by then, we knew it to be true. We couldn’t prove it and the guards would never confirm or deny it, but when someone came up missing for more than a day, we knew. “Ya think Scabs got took, J?” Riddle asked me one day at lunch. We hadn’t seen Scabs since dinner the night before and our tiny crew hadn’t heard anything from him either. He seemed fine, almost jovial, twenty-four hours previous and then poof, gone. I looked down the table, seeing seven pairs of eyes on me and then shook my head, unsure. “I dunno, Ridsy. I guess we’ll know for sure tomorrow though, won’t we?” He nodded and grunted through a mouth full of cornbread and milk. I had been here the longest, so I was the unofficial ringleader due to experience. It wasn’t a title I held onto with affection and it was a position I fell into by a weird unspoken democracy of sorts. I was the shoulder everyone else used, but never had one of my own really. I’d have answers ready for the boys if they had questions, but rarely could they answer mine. Frustrating is a mild way of putting it. “Well,” Riddle started, scrunching up his face in serious thought. “The Frenchy was here long before Scabs, why come he ain’t disappeared yet?” he asked, gesturing at Jilette with his fork, pieces of macaroni speared onto each individual tong. “And how do we even know he’s French anyway? Garlblaggart don’t even have uh a-a-a-accent!” Jilette gave Riddle a mock angry look, knowing Riddle would never remember it anyway. “My mother was French, my father was American. I speak English, but I am of French descent,” he said, standing. “Would you razzer I talk like zis? Should I go, eh, get ma black beret and smoke de ziggarettes like ze fags in gay old Paree?” he replied, laying the fake accent on thick and pretending to smoke. Everyone but Riddle laughed, banging their hands on the table and whistling towards Jilette, who was now bowing to everyone around. “Who the fuck is Perry?” Riddle asked, genuinely confused. “And when did he start speaking French?” The table lost it again and I laughed so hard I almost choked on my own cornbread until I noticed Panzer down on the far end, unsmiling. Panzer had joined us around three years previous, an oddball honorably discharged from the military, but sent here for assisting his cancer-ridden grandmother with suicide. A doctor for the U.S. Army, Panzer knew what he was doing, but his familial bond was stronger than the oath he took in med school. The way he explained it, his grandmother forgot to leave any kind of legal document absolving him of any wrong doing, but I think he would’ve gotten screwed with his pants on regardless. We’d come a long way as a people, but assisted suicide was still frowned upon in 43 states. “What’s up, Panzer? Why so sour?” I asked down the long table of smiling faces. He stood up, grabbed his tray and waved us off as if to say ‘forget it’ and the table quieted. We all rubbernecked and watched him put away his dirty dishes then walk out of the cafeteria back to Cluster One. “I’m gonna go see what his deal is,” Jilette said, grabbing his own tray. “I’ll catch up with you idiots later.” “I think he was just starting to warm up to Scabs,” Reitman said from behind me. “S’exactly why I wanna go before any of you disappear.” “But at least you get to leave breathing. The rest of us leave on gurneys,” muttered Little Jim from across the table. “Not Jilette!” he muttered back. “Oh yes, Jilette too,” I said. “He made Deathwatch Crew this week. Found out his vic had died from complications. He’s a lifer now.” “He’s taking it well,” Reitman said, joining us at the table. “What choice does have?” I replied, grabbing my tray and leaving the boys to their gossip.