https://i.imgsafe.org/8b95f7d01e.jpg
[Img Credit](http://alanwebber.deviantart.com/art/Blowing-smoke-up-your-ass-115131334)

Are you a new user? Here's some things I wish I knew before I started.

First, go back in time and get famous somewhere else. This may take between 1 - 5 years, but it's well worth the effort.
http://37.media.tumblr.com/48ac8fab99c26ff737ddc0f35e28ecf6/tumblr_n7i74lvQ6J1risj2so3_500.gif
[Img credit](http://37.media.tumblr.com/48ac8fab99c26ff737ddc0f35e28ecf6/tumblr_n7i74lvQ6J1risj2so3_500.gif)

Make your first post epic, and include a provocative image. This must include either an attractive woman, you dry humping a steemit logo or an indecipherable 3d rendering of the current price of steemit.

http://www.visualcomplexity.com/vc/images/644_big01.jpg 
Yes. 42. Deflation. Anarchy. Potato.
[img credit](http://www.visualcomplexity.com/vc/images/644_big01.jpg)

Write giant misanthropic posts pandering to the devs general distrust of the human race. Devs were picked on constantly at school, and dream of a dystopian future that puts them in a position of ultimate power.

https://i.imgsafe.org/8bb5f9eead.jpg
*#anarchy, NARF!*

Write a long complex mathmatical formula in bold italics. Nobody will understand it, but you will gain respect. Here's an example. 

https://i.imgsafe.org/8bd02640e5.png

*Adding a 3d graph of your formula without context or explanation encouraged*

That's pretty much it. And whatever you do, **don't** write satire.