I often feel like I'm in a constant state of confusion, from the things I read, see and people I interact with there are so many contradictory messages. I guess that's part of living right? We all here with a little bit of information, sharing it (most of it useless info like Pete got a new job, WHO CARES?) or some times imposing it on one another as absolute facts. 

We all base our lives on our perceptions and our perceptions are governed by the tiny bit of information we can recall and process and so our lives become a self-fulfilling prophecy. We make the rules of our own lives and most times we too lazy to do that so we just extract common rules from society and make it our own mantra and go through life thinking we're special when in fact we haven't had an original thought, its all regurgitated responses based on other peoples principles. 

While I'll let that one fester in your brain for a bit I want to move into a single topic of my life's confusion and that has probably been the word "love".

![0_8261c_87d89c5f_L.png](https://ipfs.busy.org/ipfs/QmbxyxJw7PSx1XiN7LdFURqXDAyWzzT4dhs9U8b6HHrsFo)
**Image soure: [viola.bz](https://viola.bz/anti-love-quotes/0_8261c_87d89c5f_l/)**

**Anthony Hopkins as William Parrish in meet Joe Black**

> Love is passion, obsession, someone you can't live without. I say, fall head over heels. Find someone you can love like crazy and who will love you the same way back. How do you find him? Well, you forget your head, and you listen to your heart. And I'm not hearing any heart. Cause the truth is, honey, there's no sense living your life without this. To make the journey and not fall deeply in love, well, you haven't lived a life at all. But you have to try, cause if you haven't tried, you haven't lived.

## If love is about passion and obsession why do we love the end product more?

**I love my job** - When people say they love their job to me it would mean they find value and a deep sense of fulfilment in what they do, they would do it for free because its a passionate obsession and they would give themselves over it to it without reward. So to that, I say you don't love your job, you love what your job provides, money, security and the ability to be a consumer.

**I love my car** - When people say I love my car to me it would mean you spent hours learning about it, working on it, knowing the kinks and you enjoy spending time using it and this brings you some sense of fulfilment so much so You would not trade it for another because of this deep sentiment. Most people don't love their car, they love the status it brings them in social hierarchies in this competition of who is the most successful consumer. 

**I love my partner** - When people say they love their partner to me that means you found someone you feel is worth investing in you believe in them, their potential and what you can build together and would give freely to them regardless of getting some sort of equal measure return. But often times you love the perceived status they have in society and your immediate acquaintance as well as whatever benefits you look to derive from that person.

Loving the outcome, the benefits, the value, the status to me doesn't match with the narrative of a passionate obsession, in fact, it seems contradictory. 

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/AVjRuM7Rong" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen></iframe>

## A silly example

I am an Arsenal fan and we don't often win anything and fans of other teams would naturally lay into me for my allegiance but I don't support the team because they win titles I support them because they play a brand of football I myself play. 

I believe in one touch football and feel its the hardest style of football to get right, you only have one chance to touch the ball, guide it in the direction you want with the pace it requires and you're aiming at moving targets with others looking to stop it. 

When it's done right it's real poetry in motion, this is what I love. It may not be rational like winning or lifting trophies but this is why I love soccer and love the team I support. If you would like to see what I mean check out this video below.

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/28z0gwfJyQE" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen></iframe>

## Have your say

Do you think we use the word love incorrectly or rather don't substantiate what we love exactly and generalise? let me know in the comments

## Let's connect
 
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