Hey Instant Jessies

What do you do when you receive a notification while you’re working or having downtime, maybe watching a movie or reading a book? Do you feel obligated to reply? I don't! I can ignore my phone for hours even days on end. If it were really important people would call.

My behaviour doesn't sit well with many people who think that the fact that they have my contact details means I am obligated to respond immediately to anything they have to say. Let's be honest, how often are any of our text conversations more meaningful than wasting time? Very few I would imagine.

## More speed, more haste, even more, waste!

As the pace of our world picks up, an increasing number of things are becoming instant. We can buy with one click and contact anyone from anywhere at any time so where do we draw the line?

This instant access is great, but it brings challenges. 

For many people, a notification or new message dictates a need to immediately respond. The internet cultures can inadvertently create an expectation of an immediate response. If you don't you're selfish and it's always the receivers fault. 

 I don't understand why I am obligated to respond to every brain fart you have or request? 

![problem_with_im_516099.jpg](https://ipfs.busy.org/ipfs/QmNPcqfYdDqGaVXmEH5maR5x2aL714TJZoguJ2GHQc76hK)

**Image source:** - [dmnews.com](https://www.dmnews.com/marketing-channels/social/news/13058190/comic-the-problem-with-instantmessaging-today)

## Mental conditioning

We've become conditioned to share, conditioned to engage and obligated to respond. We keep conversations going longer than they are productive and we use it all to keep ourselves distracted. 

We don't think of taking time out for ourselves, focusing uninterruptedly on a task, meditating, thinking, reading and all the things your brain actually needs.

It reduces our level of concentration and the ability to deeply focus and also takes away from our personal space. Technology is great, but just like money and other man-made devices, it can quickly make you the slave if checks and balances are not put into place.

## Less screen time, more me-time

We often speak about "me" time but how often do we actually spend with ourselves? How well do you know yourself? I don't think many even do, nor stop to ask that question. It's all a game of constant distraction and reaction. 

If you give away your mental capacity and attention cheaply then don't expect anyone to value it. If you focus your time on cheap thrills don't expect to find any meaning in your pursuits. 

If you are constantly giving, eventually you will have nothing left. Save some for yourself! Say no once in a while, let them wait, let them continue their communication circle jerks and opt-out. 

You'll be surprised at how much better off you are without having to constantly engage. 

## Let's connect
 
If you liked this post sprinkle it with an upvote or resteem and if you don't already, consider following me @chekohler
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