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have you ever felt God Created you in an odd way before?
How about feeling insecure about your look, some parts of your body And your outer framework?

For years I have been battling with my self-esteem as a human and an effeminate man.
I have gotten lots of judgement from friends, teachers, family and even strangers, simply because in our society a boy isn't supposed to possess any feminine features. *A boy* is supposed to possess biceps and a muscularly built body. 

Life has tough ,because I started seeing myself as abnormal, creepy and alien to everyone with  a deformed nose which I referred to as " a container". 
The harassment coming from family was not helping either. 
I remember my sister once asked me, 
"Chu can you ever get married?" because I am a "sissy" 
Ofcourse,she wasn't the first to ask  that.
In secondary school, a senior student openly called me a "faggot" in front of his peers. they felt i looked odd and weak. 

I was never comfortable in my own skin. The thought of having correctional surgery kept coming in, and with time, I started saving money everyday in my piggy box for my future surgery.

Ever since I turned 10, I have been a confused human. I say positive things to myself and repeat them like a mantra but never they never really sound convincing, even to me but one day, something changed.

I was walking in to the rest room in church, when I heard some guy murmuring about me.

"See that boy, I sure say na mistaken sperm, see like e deh shake yansh and dey talk like woman."

Young men who were way older than me, laughing my "girly nature" over a sachet of pure water! 
Instead of ignoring them as usual, I turned back, raised my hands and mimicked their laughter

"Yes, him deh do like girl and him like am like tha. Why e deh distitb una? Why another person life de eorry you? " I said and walked away.

Deep down in my heart, I was very scared because these guys were way older than me but after a couple of minutes, all my fear varnished.
My perception of myself changed, I felt I was the one killing myself for years. 
 I felt free from the shackles of low esteem I had been chained to for years.

I felt strong enough to challenge anyone who harassed me and took advantage of my nature. 

I realised that I had to fight for effeminates yet unborn. I felt my weak nature had to go on extinction because once you give people that notion of weakness, they tend to use it against you and abuse you mentally and emotionally.

Most times you might think other people are your problem. 
But no, often times than not, you are your own problem and until you are ready to break free of that chain, you will never be able to love yourself enough and share your flawless story.

@originalwork
#untalented