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Ever tried zooming in on a book or a magazine the same way you zoom in on google earth?  *Me either.*  What about vigorously shake all the Coca Cola product on display at the market like champagne in a championship locker room and then put it all back undetected?  Ooh!  *I know*—stabbed in the face.  Raise your hand if you've been stabbed in the face.</div>

It's kinda like being stabbed in the back but not really cuz you don't have to hear about it third hand to feel it.  You'll see it coming.  They take their sweet ass time, too, setting the trap.  

*Ha! Ha!  Laughy / laughy.  Chat - talk - chat.  Friends this, thank you that, "I got your back bro" :knuckles: and then **gouge your fuckin eyes out.***
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It's all my fault—Cardinal sin.  I have only myself to blame.  Bad seed in me strikes again.  I hate it when I get all radical and commit despicable acts against humanity to which I'm subsequently required to explain myself when public humiliation ain't my thing if you know what I mean.
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But it happened three times!  If just once I'd call it a fluke, *'they must've been aiming for someone else's face and accidentally stabbed mine.'*  Two times however?  I had a heart to heart with the mirror after two but 3 TIMES?! 

You'll never..  
*I need to open up*.  
You'll never guess what I..  
#Unthinkable. 
**I CAN'T LIVE LIKE THIS!!**  

Think of the worst thing imaginable you could ever do to another human **ever** and multiply it by a gajillion.  

## That.

<sub> <sub> <sub>*I didn't consume their content*</sub></sub></sub>

I know!  I know this!!  *Trust me I know.*  I feel so terribly about it right now I can barely type write terribly about it right now.  I've thought long and hard about this one, hashtag *NoExcuses;* sick wife, Christmas, don't feel like it which is never a crowd favorite, holiday season and Hive meet-ups with friends like Brandt and Plantstoplanks is gibberish.  I'm juggling three books right now which is nothing shy of a piss-poor excuse like fostering puppies plus life equals that's a big ONE.  Never know what to expect when life does lifey things.

## Earmuthafuckinrelevant!

I should've consumed your content.  You have every right to stab me in the face and call me horrible names.  I could park all four tires on top of a stranger in a wheelchair in a public parking garage and even then witnesses lined up to testify against me won't call me what you did.  I especially appreciate multiple clinical diagnoses, *thanks!*  I was unaware you practice medicine.

I've been consuming very little content lately that requires electricity to access if you must know but you know who else does not consume your content?
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**+/- 7 billion people.**  That's how many they've been saying occupy this planet ever since I landed.  I don't know about your content views but let's assume they double mine.  200, fair enough?  That means 6,999,999,800 people **do not** consume your content and you swung at me.
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Why not Trafalgar or Haejin?  Or Ranchorelaxo, go talk shit to him.  He's probably your biggest supporter in recent weeks who doesn't consume your content.
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Todays trending is primarily painted by Appreciator and OCD sightings.  Once either or both of them curate your content you top the charts similar to Hendrickdegrote and Curie back in the day.

In trending waters you're circled by one or more or many more of the aforementioned whom you wouldn't dare take a swing at who like anyone tuned in, maximizes curation however they want.  If you think they, *the circling ones you relentlessly dance for* consume your content, you're mistaken.  But if going the fuck off on me helps you sleep then clickety clackety delete clickety clack backspace click *send* and saw logs.
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