Some off topic today. I have nothing new tech wise to share. But I wanted to write because Tech kind of wears me out these days. i am going to be honest, reaching 40 is going to be a bit hard. I realized that it is not easy to push yourself all these years being defeated in life. 

So today, let's talk about the spirituality. I am exploring this side of the life. And getting frustrated with lot of things that I am not getting answers to my life issues. So it would be something new to explore as well. 


![rudra.jpg](https://images.hive.blog/DQme1feoz5AYQuQvYfFmpnhL2EReDNifQypYobrPkCEpKNs/rudra.jpg)


So why one should use something like this. It's one of those natural items which allow you to let go of the negative energy. And that happens naturally as this is part of the fruit. Once it gets kept in the sun, you can break the fruit and this skeleton like structure comes out. You would use that for meditation. 

For example, I am using the above shown piece for meditation. I use this as a focus point. Because it would be something that is getting me to focus on one mantra that I am following for my growth and the enemies that I can't defeat. So this piece of the fruit is something I use for meditation and also for having that focus. 

My learning so far has been pretty decent after I am trying the mantra system. I use the baglamukhi [mantra](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bPPUV2h-Emg). This was meant for making myself some attachment towards the spirituality and also getting me to do things. Which is not easy these days as I am ageing too. So that is where I want to change things. 

So where from here? I guess I would be doing the meditation every now and then. I hope this piece of the rudraksha would be used for that focus and safety that I am expecting. Things are bad and they are not going to change any way. So it's reasonable to consider the meditation  as a means to let go of the life that we have. 

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I wonder where life goes from here. I don't want to speculate. I don't want to see the future anymore. I am tired so the meditation. And hoping that from here atleast one good day come out. So hopefully this meditation works out.