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I have been reading this article from LinkedIn about candidates or potential employees ghosting at work or ghosting their recruiters. It caught my interest because I know how it all started. Back in the day in the corporate world, in the not so distant past, I was the one being ghosted by recruiters. It happened to me many times during those desperate years of job-searching that I have become used to it. And of course, this should be nothing new to all those job-seekers who are at the mercy of these big companies. Oh yes, rejection does suck, not only in the dating world but also in the career aspect or should I say, consistently bringing food to the table aspect. Nothing is more numbing and soul-crushing than not getting the job you hoped for, worse, you don't get replies or any word from the employer. Just nothing.

If in case I don't like the job being offered, I still make sure to inform the employer that I have found another job with a better offer or that I have found a better position. All it takes is a simple 'I changed my mind!'. Notifying others is just basic courtesy and not being able to do so reflects poorly on people. So even though I've been scarred by many recruiters, companies, and even men in the past, I just won't resort to that low level of ghosting someone. I would not intentionally hurt or do that to anyone. Now a part of me thinks that these companies that are infamous for their ghosting practices are now getting a taste of their own medicine. As the job recruiters desperately go after the highly-skilled and experienced candidates, they too are being ghosted. Job candidates who are highly-qualified also get other career options in the corporate world for being in high demand. It's just hard for me to feel sympathy, especially for these corporations that should have been good examples in showing professionalism. They can easily ghost the legions of poor candidates for they are cheap and easily replaceable, they just don't care. Don't expect humanity in capitalism. But in the end, what goes around comes around. They will get what they give in time.

Professional setting or not, I guess this type of behavior stems from fear, indifference, and cowardice. You just don't like to reject other people or make them feel let down. Guilt sucks too hey? You just want others to 'get it' straight away without having to downright reject them. People resort to "no response is the response" or "no reaction is the best reaction", making others wait endlessly and other inhumane practices. Unless of course, the other person is being a psycho and just won't get your rejection. Sometimes it's best to stop communicating when you finally have to, and 'caspering' is the more friendly term in the dating world. It's informing the other person that you're being a friendly ghost before totally disappearing. Mind you, it's better than ghosting.

We have this attitude term/word/label in my language meaning "Trying to feel important". It is just what we usually tell those who make us literally wait for a long time. And it is true, everyone wants to feel important even to the point of making others feel worthless and shit. Making yourself feel better by making others feel worse. It is the worst thing you can do to a human being and don't be surprised if you get the same kind of treatment someday. Just like what the job recruiters are experiencing in return these days. In this life, I always try my best to put myself in good karma and I would never wish ill upon anyone, but I just see that people reap what they sow. Things will just come naturally, all in due time.

I remember traveling and living in South America for 2 years, excuse the stereotype, but Latinos are notorious for being late, slacking and ghosting. Probably worse than the people from where I am at the moment. I feel like people who do this just totally lack respect for your time. One unforgettable experience was when a friend and a couchsurfing host told me that he and his friend would be visiting the country where I was at the time. I appreciate that he would be traveling there and would want to see me too. We had clearly agreed to meet at the plaza at a specific time so I went through the whole trouble of pausing whatever I was doing. I sent him text messages and didn't get any reply. I waited and saw. Waiting is one thing I hated in the world so I just left. Then suddenly, he and his friend appeared in my hostel out of nowhere. He told me that they went trekking and all that and I analyzed his whole excuse. There was ample time to do the trekking without being late, making me wait, or not committing to the agreed meeting time. All it takes is just a text to inform me that he will not make it on time or that they will just go straight to my hostel. It was hard for me to be excited to see him as I was disappointed and quite tired of this behavior. It was not the first time that it happened to me and I felt like it was such a waste of energy to differentiate these people. That was the last time I had a conversation with him. I have high self-respect that I won't demand anything. I just simply won't engage with those who cannot give respect. Don't waste my time.

And of course, I'm not only talking about job recruiters, Latinos, job candidates, men, and all those who fancy this whole horrible manner of ghosting. I'm easily put-off and I don't see myself being with anyone who shows this type of behavior, whether in the professional world or not. I try to make it a point to give others the luxury of knowing. It's a sad thing that some people don't have the courage to say something. A simple "F*ck off!" would do, believe it or not, some would take it rather than going dark and disappearing all of a sudden. You just wouldn't like mind games, power-tripping, abuse and all that done to you too. This whole ghosting just makes people numb and untrusting. So speak up, do yourself and others a favor, have a bit of humanity.