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I think the modern society taught people all about self-control. You are taught the importance of having willpower in order to succeed in life. You are taught how to resist the temptation of beating the hell out of your co-worker. You are taught that eating more ice cream will make you fat. Because if you don't have self-control, you will be seen as impulsive, uncivilized, impatient sucker with uncontrollable urges. In the workplace, you learned how to restrain acting on impulses and momentary urges in favor of long-term goals. Sure, it can be a good thing to do everything to achieve your goals but I believe there's also a dark side to self-control. As you know the good old rule of the universe, too much of something is bad.

I grew up in an environment where you could raise criminally insane people, literally. I would go home and hear my mum cursing nonstop at me or my uncle coming to the place and threatening to kill us all with his gun. I was living in fear. I couldn't cry nor complain, otherwise there would be more physical pain. I learned how to suffer in silence also known as self-control. But I got to a point that I became totally immune. I stopped caring and it gave me the freedom to do whatever my heart desired. I sought solace in experimenting with new experiences. I became rebellious and hurtful. I finally broke free from my toxic environment full of abusive people in order to save myself. I even thought religion could help me at some point but I realized that the churches even have more dysfunctional and irrational people. It was a hopeless case. And so now, I despise all forms of authority. Even the supernatural forms of authority that allow evil things to happen to innocent people.

I think the patterns of my maladaptive overcontrol came as a result of hardwired, genetic and environmental factors that reinforced all these ways for me to cope. Perhaps I am just formulating justifications for my current PMS temperamental issues. Or it must be the old demonic woman in me. But I'm aware that too much self-control is not good for my mental well-being. I might be conscientious and responsible, but my perfectionism can be a bad thing. I focus too much on the details and I would not stop until everything is perfect. That's also just my obsessive-compulsive behavior. I always have this high personal standard in everything even if I feel like I can't always meet them. I tend to mask my true, inner feelings and keep my opinion to myself until it is the right time. Until it is the right time to explode. This is also something I learned in childhood.

Sure, self-control can be a good thing if you are to think of your long-term goals. But it tends to come at a high cost particularly in terms of sense of connection and relationships. It would be hard to form close social bonds, and as a result, those who are overcontrolled tend to suffer from strong feelings of loneliness. I might look fun and sociable from the outside and I can spend a great deal of time with others, but in reality, I can just easily walk away feeling disconnected, unappreciated, detached and exhausted. I now choose to live in isolation.

I might be reserved and responsible even if I didn't get that necessary guidance, attention, and affection. But I tend to suffer in silence. I have learned how to mask and suppress my hurt feelings for a long time. And it would be hard for people to get to know me until I could really trust them. I still feel alone even if I'm surrounded by people, deep down, I'm still miserable on the inside.

Unless you want to breed more psycho killers in the society, it would be better to teach your children how to regulate their emotions in order to have healthy give-and-take relationships as adults. Exposing them to community values can also be helpful. I think a person must always have some kind of an outlet, like a good friend, a hobby, a physical activity or some sport. 

Know thyself, it is necessary to be aware. To be aware when you are suppressing your hurt feelings for too long. To be aware when the anger is there for too long. To be aware when you already need help. Know when self-control is only preparing you to become the worst version of yourself. I know this very well now. So yes, probably, you can't have too much of a good thing too.