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# Hey Steemers!!!

**If you struggle with social anxiety in one form or another, likelihood is that you think it’s because you're an introvert. you furthermore may believe that introverted people aren't social naturally . this is often wrong.**

When someone labels themselves as an “introvert”, it's implied that they're not very social and like spending most of their time alone. round the web, you'll find plenty of articles talking about things like “What introverts really consider you” or “How to survive a celebration if you’re an introvert”. whenever I see a headline like that, I cringe.

An introvert is someone who isn't very social and likes spending most of his/her time alone. But that definition is merely partially true, and therefore the wrong a part of that definition can do tons of injury .

Introverts are often painted as asocial freaks and weirdos who are secretly all really cool and smart. You just, like, don’t understand them, man. If you lack social skills, or have weird hobbies, you'll slap the “introvert” label on yourself to empower yourself. “I’m not a freak, I’m an introvert.” And putting such labels on yourself is strictly the matter .

The label of a “cool, but lonely introvert” is nothing but a defense reaction . I’m not saying you’re not actually smart or interesting — you alright could also be — but labeling yourself as an “introvert” may be a way of creating yourself feel better. It gives you an excuse for lacking social skills under the guise of “it’s just the way I am”. It also gives you the supposed power to think that lacking social skills is really an honest thing, because you spend some time and energy on things that really matter. Sounds familiar? 

If you employ labels like this, i'm also an introvert. In fact, I wont to label myself as an introvert too, so I personally skills much harm this manner of thinking can do.

I would proclaim how “parties are stupid” and “who needs an enormous circle of friends” when, actually , they were the items I yearned the foremost . I just didn’t skills to open up, make friends, and be social. Saying “I’m just introverted, nothing I can do about it” helped me deal with this. However, rather than focusing my efforts on developing social skills, i used to be focused on making excuses for why I don’t have already got them.

Introversion is just a preference for a more relaxed and stimulating environment. While others feel their best when surrounded by people, someone such as you and me recharge when spending time alone. this is often not something to be overcome or fixed. Being introverted isn’t bad and it doesn’t influence whether you've got social skills or not. Social skills, a bit like any skills, are often developed. 

So let’s take a dive into how this all introvert extravaganza started, and what you ought to specialise in instead.

# WHAT IS INTROVERSION?

In 1921, Swiss psychiatrist Jung published the book Psychological Types.1 In it, he talked about concepts of introversion and extraversion. 

His goal was trying to elucidate why people behave certain ways in certain situations. He described introversion as being mostly concerned together with your own mental life and extraversion as being mostly concerned with what's outside of yourself. The important distinction here is that he talked about personality traits someone can have. He didn't categorize people as “introverts” or “extroverts” supported this, as whether you favor being more social or more alone is simply one a part of your entire personality.

These concepts existed before Jung, but he was the one who popularized them. albeit modern psychology uses these terms a touch differently, the core concept remains an equivalent . Jung believed everybody has an introverted and an extraverted side, which is sensible . latest psychologists agree that extraversion and introversion exist on one continuum,2 so being high in one trait means you’re lower in other. This also is sensible .

If you’re gotten a touch lost with these psychological explanations, let me put it like this: If you wish reading books quite getting to parties, you’re predominantly introverted. But that doesn’t mean you never attend parties or that you simply don’t like spending time with people. an equivalent way, if you enjoy spending time together with your friends quite watching shows alone, you’re predominantly extraverted. But this doesn’t mean you don’t enjoy watching shows or reading books.

These traits are nothing but preferences; they'll not be a conscious choice, but leaning a method or the opposite doesn’t mean that you simply simply can’t spend quality time alone or that you can never learn to socialize. most of the people who have trouble socializing see these traits as mutually exclusive; if you’re introverted, you want to be alone. this is often just plain fucking wrong.

If you’re completely fine with being alone and don’t have any desire to be any longer social than you currently are, you'll never got to label yourself or explain yourself to people . But if you’re not fine with being alone and you really want to be more social, then you’ll likely use introversion as an excuse.

- “I can’t be social, I’m introverted.”
- “I’m bad with girls, I’m introverted.”
- “I don’t have tons of friends, I’m introverted.”
- “I don’t skills to satisfy new people, I’m introverted.”
- “People don’t like me, I’m introverted.”
- “Nobody can understand me, I’m introverted.”
All of those reasons are bullshit. If you've got one more reason I didn’t already mention, it’s also bullshit — and you would like to face that if you would like to enhance . 

# SO what's MY REAL PROBLEM?
What often happens is that folks who are battling social anxiety confuse introversion with shyness. Introverts like better to be alone, while shy people feel uneasy and fearful in social situations. Introverts are often shy, but they don’t need to be. It all depends on the individual.

Introverted people can feel comfortable staying reception , doing their own thing, then be completely comfortable getting to a celebration later in the week . Shy people, on the opposite hand, have a complete freak-out about an equivalent party. “Holy shit, I don’t know anybody there. What do I wear? What if i buy embarrassed? I don’t skills to speak to people.”

If you are feeling awkward in social situations, you’re not an introvert, you’re just shy. And shyness are often overcome. Now, you'll have already got plenty of excuses for why you're an exception to the present . “It’s not that I don’t want to vary , I can’t. i used to be simply born this manner . I even have shy blood and introverted genes. I didn’t get my confidence shots as a child , so now I’ve gotten infected with shyness and there’s no cure.”

The only thing this points to is that you simply have low self-esteem. You don’t believe yourself. you're purposely sabotaging your potential happiness before even trying to vary . and that i catch on , change are often a scary thing. Believing in yourself when you’re not wont to it can really appear to be an impossible task. 

Stop labeling yourself as an introvert. the important power is choose who you would like to be — then learning the way to become that person.

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**drakoscliff**