Saving grace.
life·@driftingvoice·
0.000 HBDSaving grace.
This is a truth I have not attempted to approach in a written way as it relates to lessons I am learning, that is expressing gratitude. This is also about personal boundaries and delving into another person’s life/perspective that I am not fully comfortable in discussing to any depth unless like has occurred, I have express permission to share/write on a more personal level. For anyone who reads my writings, I be careful to be as respectful as I understand how to be relaying information of others, and in such a way I feel I am true to myself and my own life journey. That being said I will now share in a more open way the experience of my left kidney shutting down, and the man whom is responsible for me being on this Earth today. It was July 2016, I was in a house being rented by Lars-Goran Fredriksson, this being my perspective not his on the situation, I was as a guest, yet there was an equal understanding between us and a gentleman’s agreement as I word it. A verbal understanding followed by a hand shake to seal the deal. This man is honourable in his dealings, I can attest to this over the course of a 3 year bond. We had moved to this house in October 2015 I believe, with a 2 year lease. Over that time period Lars had met someone involved in a project with a clear vision and a good heart and Lars felt called to become involved in this process, thereby moving to a town known as Sauce, this was in June 2016. Over the course of those few months from June to late July, early August Lars was still visiting and catching me up on progress and seeing how I was doing. Lars was the benefactor for my existence over a 3 year period financially speaking. This man whom I was calling and still do, my soul brother is the reason I survived my own free will to come to Peru. I can discuss in further detail as I feel called to write further. For now I state that in the time Lars was away, I in my own situation was looking at ways of bringing in income and was not without stress and worry on my mind. There came a point when the only line to the outside world and my best chance at income, my computer was beginning to fail. There was a hard disk issue resulting in what I believed to be an imminent crash of the hard drive and loss of my computer. I was desperate in attempting to learn how to fix the fucking thing and not sleeping much over the course of a few days. Of course in my stress, I was chain smoking and living on coffee, reading loads of hard drive fixes and attempting them as I went. Finally a person I call apart of my Facebook family let me know of a fix. To erase and reinstall the operating system, thereby cleaning the hard disk of any built up errors over the years. It worked to my utmost delight. I was saved! Low and behold I awake the next day fully rested and decide to walk into town and pay an electricity bill. Funny thing was I felt heavier than usual on a hot Peruvian afternoon. I was not sweating much though, just had an intense feeling of something is not right. I was walking up the hill outside my home and feeling faint, turn a corner and begin ascending up a longer hill. By the time I reached the top I was fighting off darkness, best way I describe nearly blacking out. As I am walking the world begins to darken around me and as I blink it is pure darkness with a feeling of collapsing being nigh. I grit my teeth and manage to pay this damn bill. Oh yes, there was a bus of older school kids at the top of the hill and two male students just happened to be yelling at me about something in Spanish and laughing at me, I simply said hola in a half conscious nearly blacking out sluggish way and keep walking. Upon returning in my home direction, same thing. The joys of being in a body is shutting down and there are two ignorant ass bastards harassing me because I am a gringo moments… I get home and all I am thinking is holy fuck I really pushed it too hard the last few days, so I start to drink more water and get to bed early. Over the course of the next 2 or 3 days, I force myself up the hill to the market for food, again nearly blacking out, this time no sweat is coming out of me. I am fucking clueless as to what is wrong with me, I just think holy crap how can I be this exhausted after a few days of pushing myself. All I could think to do was focus on water intake to hydrate and sleep plenty. Well on the 3rd or so day in walks Lars for a visit, only this time, he informs me he is moving back in, I believe this was the very beginning of August. I was in a wrecked state and Lars could see that right off the bat. I could barely stand or speak much after several minutes. At this point I am hazy on details, at some point I got it in my head I needed something more to hydrate me. Thanks to Lars being there again, it was him whom I relied upon for an entire year to get me medicine and anything else. I did not realize fully then that my kidney had pretty much kicked the bucket. What I did know is that without Lars being there, as in showing up when he did and suddenly moving back into the house, I would have been dead within a matter of days. My body was literally shutting down, on a number of occasions I dragged myself out of bed and went to Lars in that moment to get me some kind of sport drink. It was the electrolytes in them that somehow kept my body functioning. On a few nights my heart was beating so slow I couldn’t feel it anymore, if not for Lars doing my shopping enabling me to stay home and do nothing but rest I would be dead. My body was fucked. Lars I know you will read this, and I say it again, you saved my damn life, and more than once. Upon meeting, him and I shared a bond, I call him soul family and in my own wording him and I had a soul contract to meet at that time in that place and to assist each other in our own development as souls. He watched my back paying my way for the bulk of a 3 year stretch, and in that time we delved deep into each other’s lives and grew as people. Out of his own free will he acknowledged something in me that so few I have met ever touch upon, and went one step further. He said he would watch my back and enable me to grow spiritually and in my own way assist his growth as well, as an exchange of energy. This man whom is twice my age was coming from an understanding of oneness I had not seen in another person before. To him money is just one form of energy as I understood this to be and how we as a humanity live is by sharing in what we have to create the abundance we all seek. Him and I for those with eyes to see got to show the people around us that, by free will alone we can agree to support one another via our unique means and live comfortably. We each have value inherent within us, it is only a matter of acknowledging our value and living it. Without Lars, my soul brother, I would not be writing this and other posts, I would not be able to grow and to mature into the man I came to Earth to be. I would not get to share my journey, my perspectives, I would not get to see the assistance in whatever form I bring to this awakening process of humanity. I would not understand myself in the way I do today. This man Lars-Goran Fredriksson showed me love in a way I didn’t realize existed in the world, I only read about it in books. The love for another soul and the complete honouring of another life path not his own. For the people who meet Lars, they feel his love, he is a big man with a heart of gold and an understanding of the core fundamentals of human life. I love you, honour you, and in gratitude I say thank you for saving my life.  