here i am
again
in the same state
ready to ...
fk... i dont even know WHAT i plan to do
they have suspended my payments
yet again
apparently they are going to suspend them in a week again
time to..
i honestly dont even know
how is it that im getting no assistance
in finding a job
that APPARENTLY i MUST HAVE
from people
whos job it is
to HELP ME FIND a job?
how is it, that the government pays them
to assist me
and they dont do any assisting?

___
just had a guest
they wanted to talk
ive had abig day
didnt want to talk
ESPECIALLY abou tthe day ive had, and rehashing it
i know what i have to do
i just dont have the means to do it if the weather s foul
also
how is what i need to do
your problem?
why do you have to have an input?
why cant i just tell you what happened today
and you accept that
it was the day i had?
is this why i dont tell you anything?
is this the reason i closed off to you?
or is it because you used my pain against me on more than one occasion when we fought?

i dont know
_____
my job network guy tried to tell me today that im intentionally playing life on hard mode
and that my aspirations of working in the field of computers
was a nogo
because i am 'unskilled'
strange
if u guys would pay for the course ( which is why funding is assigned to my name when you guys get when i sign up)
to put me into the study that gets me the accreditation
awesome
but dont tell me that i dont have skills, based on one statement
*shrug*
anyways, rant complete, not that anyone will have read this
stay safe out there