I watched a short clip where two kids, a male and a female ran to their parents, telling them what they'll do when they grow up and get married. A moment of laughter ceased when the boy said "..then I'll beat her" and the girl added, "I'll bring food for him then he'll throw it on the floor". That's what they've observed over time and they believe it's normal for a man to beat up his wife and for him to throw a plate of food on the floor.  Children who seem to be innocent and ignorant have actually studied their parent's marital life and connote it to be a perfect life in marriage.


Abuse comes in many forms aside from the fact that it is characterized by beating , violence, and physical injuries. Infidelity can also be considered as an abuse of a partner's trust causing an emotional pain just as hurtful as the physical pain. Just because one is not physically beating his/her partner doesn't make him/her free from abuse, whatever causes pain is near abuse or an abuse.  I don't encourage abuse for so many reasons, but the first is that it doesn't portray the love that bonds the relationship. If I claim to love someone, then his or her pain should equally become my pain and a concern to me. Yes, read that once again but slowly this time.


![img_0.8091088659885844.jpg](https://images.ecency.com/DQmXewSJNHJjmH1F9XtxS2wUXiBFAaCB9vf96VotqX2FGhV/img_0.8091088659885844.jpg)

[Photo source](https://pixabay.com/images/id-228177/)


Abuse if not tamed is passed down to generations and that's one of its deadliest effects. Generation to come may see it as normal because their parents whom they look up to were doing the same or may be afraid of committing themselves into marriage having gotten a negative philosophy about marriage from their  past. These are just a few effects of abuse on our future or prospective parents, and once the foundation is faulty,  it would be difficult to educate them the opposite. I have heard of girls who are afraid of loving a man because the home they grew up from was an abusive one.


There's this wrong ideology about men I call "gentlemen" , some consider them to be weak and not manly because they respect feelings. Beating a partner doesn't show prowess, cheating isn't smartness, abuse doesn't portray love in any form no matter how one tries to paint in with reasons. You have a choice to walk away if you are tempted to react negatively. I'll end this article with a saying from one of my pastors back then in school **"In your anger, be still. By so doing you'll raise a generation who understands the power in stillness"**.