<center> I have not published a month, and I owe you a lot of explanations. Like a bunch of stories and reflections of lived moments, bad decisions and "screwups". However, I have called all this: **grow up**; and, sometimes, growing is more than necessary. </center>

### <center> Sometimes, disappearing for a while allows us to rediscover ourselves. </center> 

<center> And I assure a post of this time and processes. However, this will not be that post. In this post, I will allow me to capture an academic article on the subject of **Psychopathology** of the 4th year of Medicine, in which we were asked to express a critical and sincere self-reflection of who we are. </center>

<center> ![IMG-20180531-WA0012.jpg](https://ipfs.busy.org/ipfs/QmX287WLQchmuc8HXKDgcv2tbbGxKfEGLz8UL6cCGeQgwU) </center>

### <center> Make and be, two sides of a coin very different, difficult to distinguish. </center>

<center> _"Introspection must be, of all, the most difficult and necessary art to exist, perhaps the most feared by some, and belittled by others. For my part, I seek to submit to it periodically It is difficult to describe yourself from the personal paradigm: **Who am I?** This is the-forever-prelude to _the consequences of who I have been_, the sum of my friendships, and the truths behind every story I have lived in. **The archetype of a young man raised in a middle-class home**, a family naked product of divorce and brothers in multiple homes. That perhaps explains my particular disinterest in social group relationships, and my compliance with having only **a handful of people to trust, counted with my fingers**, and noticing the emphasis applied to the word used: **to possess** since, just as they may be, I usually lose them when neglecting the rituals of the social ceremony: "how are you?" "What do you do?" "When do we see each other?"_ </center>

### <center> These are phrases that you will rarely hear from me. </center>

<center> ![IMG-20180702-WA0015 (1).jpg](https://ipfs.busy.org/ipfs/QmNWmB4XWhgdkM4rNBxebi16j1UzBtLwvsaf34BzBMZGMt) </center>


<center> _However, I have the ability to relate. Being a humorist, centered, friendly, or just another listener when the situation warrants it. My well-being depends very little on the group around me, feeling more comfortable separate from the herd._ </center>

<center> _By mentioning my home base, and the socio-matriarchal context in which we live (**Venezuela**), it is evident that I was raised by my mother, a formula in which the Freudian principles are fulfilled, in which I have unfortunately idealized the image of a woman troubadour to a muse, creating a being dependent on this image. Although I became independent at the age of 20 and went far from my hometown, **the co-dependent need to idealize a woman that governs my moods and resolutions of conflicts have made me toxic to myself**, living a cycle endless struggle to get rid of these stigmas._ </center>

### <center> For my consolation, I have at least the power of self-knowledge on my part. </center>

<center> ![IMG-20180702-WA0016.jpg](https://ipfs.busy.org/ipfs/QmTuDnnF283CiRDGchnZSdA6wtHkqeJpQRrMefhJnUARPr)</center>

<center> _This, in turn, has shaped me as an extremely loyal, generous, thoughtful, romantic, and perhaps excessively sentimental person, virtues from which we could break down many pros and cons. To this, we could add perhaps my greatest deviance: _insecurity_. An enormous emotional burden with a depressive background, with suicidal thoughts and attitudes in my adolescence, and even thoughts that may persist at present when the situation activates the detonators of stress and of such an emotional charge, based on feelings of guilt, uselessness, and incapacity in my daily chore._ </center>

<center> _Despite this, I recognize my empirical and intellectual abilities, standing out academically since my childhood as a literate, lover of science, history, philosophy, literature, dramaturgy; writer, prose writer, poet, musician by hobby, and **completely transparent in every way**. With a horrible memory, but with a capacity to reason that allows me to understand what I have in a matter of minutes. **Balancing between pride and self-contempt**; disinterested in most of the issues that surround me. And with everything and that, given to philanthropy (social work), where I have allowed myself to live, eat, talk and surround myself with people with greater need, full of spiritual, social and economic deprivation, finding pleasure in renouncing so much gale of the social contrasts, to enjoy with those who live surrounded by nothing._ </center>

<center> _Honestly, I consider philanthropy as another way to change the paradigms learned; as well as I learned that **distraction faces depression, but it does not overcome it**. And it will not be a good self-esteem that will overcome it; It is not a matter of standing in front of the mirror every morning and talking about your wonders and virtues._ </center>

### <center> You have to be very weak to deceive yourself with those subtleties. </center>

<center>  ![IMG-20180702-WA0014.jpg](https://ipfs.busy.org/ipfs/QmdB8vNf6MTH5E6Y5QYndrV54wPYz9GFPFpdy3s3UebyBk) 
 </center>

<center> _So, in opposition to positivism _(which I consider useless)_, I trust more in the soteriological and Christ-dependent realism, in which there is more place the sincere self-projection with a factual self-image, attached to the hope of gradual renewal. In this way, **the holistic progress of the being is the one that cures the depression**. Or, at least, that cured me._ </center>

<center> _I grew up with Hegelian ideals and a certain Freudian influence. In spite of this, I have learned to shrink on issues that do not depend on me, and I have tried to be a factual individual, subject to the reality of my abilities. That is why I live in a constant personal competition against all those that I consider relevant. I decided to study Medicine as a personal challenge, and this way with most of the things because, truthfully, I depend very little on all this contraption that everyone considers necessary. Thus, I am indifferent to my contextual reality in terms of economy, understanding everything as a challenge to achieve proactivity through assertive thinking, making use of my ultimate freedom_ _(ability to react to external factors)_. </center>

<center>![IMG-20180702-WA0013.jpg](https://ipfs.busy.org/ipfs/QmQMW813EJzVX1jppRzc7Bm14UPP7RkcdU2iggFB5h9Ekq)


<center> _Today, I can say that my philosophy in life is more Christ-centered than anything else, putting past influences aside; **knowing me result, after all, of all my successes and mistakes**, failures, virtues, decisions, stories lived (and to live); the totality of my dreams, and ideals that are yet to mature in me, the person I should be."_ </center>

### <center> Undergraduate member: José Troncoso. 21 years old. </center>