Do you argue with your loved one often? Do you spend days angry at one another? I have come up with a technique to get you over your anger and bring you back to the moment.

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<center><a href=[https://unsplash.com/@all\_who\_wander>Original Image Source</a></center>
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<p>I have been with my husband Brad for almost 15 years. We met when I was 18 and he was 19. I don't really remember my life before we started dating. I could go into all the lovey dovey crap that I love about him but I won't.  Suffice to say that I love him very much. Since you are on Steemit Brad...uhm, hi? I'm going to talk about arguing in this post, and I'm using us as the example. 

<p><center> Brad and I a couple of days after we met.</center>
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Brad and I used to argue, a lot. It didn't really matter about what per say, just about everything in general. What's for dinner? How about a nice plate of bickering at each other for half an hour, followed by a couple of days of the silent treatment. 

I don't know if its the wisdom that comes with age or this magical epiphany that occurred...but in the last 3 years, the amount of arguments between us has drastically been reduced, and if we do argue we make up within a matter of minutes, not days. 

You can use this technique to get over your anger about an argument with a loved one. Note: This only works if you actually care about the person, it won't work on someone that you generally don't care for. Boyfriend, girlfriend, parent, family & close friends, this technique applies. Got it? Good. Keep on reading.

I came up with this "technique" accidentally one night after I got into a petty argument with my husband. It escalated into a huge fight. I don't even remember what it was about, that's how petty it was. After I stormed off to the basement of our house I turned on the TV and put on a movie called Atonement.

<center>https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/e/e4/Atonement_UK_poster.jpg</center>
<center><a href=https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Atonement_(film)>Image Source</a></center>

For all of you that know this movie, I know that you are going to say... for those of you that don't, make a mental note to watch this movie the next time you need to put some things into perspective. Atonement is a SAD movie. It's extremely well made, beautifully shot, and the acting is superb. But, I'm warning you, its sad as Hell. I won't ruin the movie for you here, but watch it sometime.

Anyways, as I was watching the movie, my anger started to fade away and I was able to gain some perspective on how petty the whole argument between us was. And then I had a thought. "What if Brad dies and us arguing was the last time I saw him." The more I imagined it the sadder I became. After about 10 minutes of pondering it...all my anger had subsided. 

I felt horrible. I went upstairs and apologized to him, and he apologized to me. I don't think I ever told him why my anger evaporated so quickly, but it was imagining him dying and all the mean words that were said that snapped me back into reality. 

I am not going to lie and say that we don't have any petty arguments anymore, but the number has been drastically reduced. The moment I feel myself getting mad I start reminding/asking myself that:

 1. Life is short, and you never know what tomorrow may bring
 2. Would I regret anything I just said if he was gone tomorrow?
 3. Will I even remember why I am mad about this a week from now? If not, then the reason why I am fighting with him is not important.
 
 Don't let it be a fleeting thought that you think for a second. Let it really sink in and imagine it. Think about it deeply, or it won't work. Imagine getting a call in the middle of the night telling you there was an accident. Imagine a funeral. Imagine months and years down the road. Think about it until you feel relieved that its not reality. It's comparable to when you have a nightmare and wake up feeling relieved that it wasn't true. 
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<center><a href=https://unsplash.com/photos/CwIU33KGToc>Source</a></center>
 
It's amazing how fast you can get over something when you think this way. Perspective is everything. If you still can't get over your anger after thinking this way, you have to really evaluate what deeper problems there are, because listen...NO ONE knows whats going to happen tomorrow. Live and love knowing that every day on this Earth could be your last. Tell your loved one how much they mean to you as many times as you can, because it very well might be the last time you do. 

<center>Emily

If you found this post useful would you please consider me for the honor of your up-vote and/or follow? I appreciate every single one! If you have any tips please leave them in the comments below. I am looking forward to connecting with you! Steem on!</center>