I will look at you with magic in my eyes
writing·@erangvee·
0.000 HBDI will look at you with magic in my eyes
<html> <p>And I remember looking at the world with stars in my eyes. It was wonderful. It was uncomplicated. It was <em>beautiful.</em></p> <h1>Then I remember growing up. </h1> <p><strong>I remember searching for purpose.</strong> There was attending a prime university with uncertainty in my chosen degree. There were the nights I would stay up late, wondering, '<em>Where am I going after this?</em>' while drowning in a sea of thick yellow papers and spilling ink and wound-up equations. </p> <p>And find out some of my friends do the same, too. </p> <p><strong>I remember getting lost. </strong>Sitting beside my friend and asking each other, '<em>What are we doing here again?</em>' Somewhere in between growing up and finding purpose, we were losing sight of the end of the tunnel. Somewhere in the middle, the dark was taking up every nook and corner, and no matter how far we walked on, the end just kept getting farther and farther.</p> <p><strong>I remember reaching for triumph.</strong> And succeeding with friends. We'd cleared our names off the burden of university work together; it was physically and emotionally tiring, but it was worth it.</p> <p><strong>I remember singing a hymn I didn't much heed before, but suddenly became something so emotional to many of us (my friends), it had become a tear-jerking moment. </strong>Finally receiving a hard-earned degree, I sang the university hymn, loud and clear, and basked in the beautiful moment. We were finally free.</p> <p>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QCrVTM9Dqkw</p> <h1>Then I remember there's more to life that I had to face.</h1> <p>And then I remember looking at the world with doubt in my heart. It was scary. It was complicated. It was ugly.</p> <p><strong>There was searching hard for work.</strong> And being lucky to get one on a whim, but still being so unsure of my own abilities. Still, I remember staying up late, studying hard to learn more about my work, and subsequently learning more than I could have bargained for.</p> <p><strong>There was living in a house where I knew no one. </strong>And trying to be friendly. And pushing away awkwardness with a tub of ice cream. Then finding friends.</p> <p><strong>Then there were the times I felt bad for myself.</strong> Walking on the way home alone, getting catcalled by faceless strangers stuck in the traffic and who had nothing else better to do. Then the time I'd got to say a derogatory '<em>Fuck you!</em>' to the truck that followed my pace as I walked, and kept asking me to hop in their truck. </p> <p>That felt good.</p> <h1>I remember all the good and the bad of 2017.</h1> <p>And how I looked at the world with stars and uncertainty. I remember promising 2018 will be better. So to 2018 that's less than 2 hours away:</p> <p>Please be good to me and my loved ones. And I promise.</p> <h1>I will look at you with magic in my eyes, because I will make you all that worth it.</h1> <p><img src="https://steemitimages.com/DQmVRDBiQbGZgz4FZoWt9ghbJpENEYftNGLDXmipjDYgEn6/IMG20171231213736_1.jpg"></p> </html>