Do you swear much? I do I guess, not at work of course and certainly not at inappropriate times although I tend to swear a lot when I'm with my mates and when talking with my brothers. I'm pretty good at it too. I have a way of stringing a few swear words, that you may not normally expect to hear, together and make it work. I mean, it's sometimes a thing of beauty the way these words just sort of flow, like a cuss-word poem. Hmm, cuss poetry...I wonder if that could be a thing? Maybe it could be a steemit *challenge* or something. *"The great steemit cuss poetry challenge."* Most of the actual challenges on steemit are just as bloody stupid so why not huh?

Anyway...

Swearing. I'm good at it. There's one cuss-word however that many people seem to absolutely despise. I don't really know why because it's a perfectly valid word and, in fact, can be used in so many various ways it would have to be one of the most versatile words in the english language. I'm not going to go into exactly what word it is, you can use your imagination.

So, my wife and I were driving across the Hay Plains in New South Wales a few years ago and, if you've ever driven that road, you'll know how intensely boring it is. Seriously, there's just nothing to look at. We were passing the time listening to some tunes and then I decided to go on a rant about something; I can't recall what but like most of my rants it was entertaining, informative and full of swear words including the particular word I am taking about right now. And...My wife hates me using that word!

So, after she'd told me repeatedly not to say the word she lost her patience and got mad with me. To be honest she wasn't all that mad, but for the sake of this story let's assume she was. She told me that I have to come up with a new word to use in place of the cuss-word! I mean, WTF?! Why replace a perfectly good word with something that could never live up to it? I said as much. I pretty much said, *"What?! What the fuck else can I use...umm..how about dum dum?"* Now I had said that in jest never even contemplating for a second it was a suitable substitute. But as you may probably guess my wife thought it was an excellent choice and she made the rule that from now on instead of using the other word I had to use the words *"dum dum"*. That was in 2015 and I've used it ever since. Well, I've used it on the occasions at which I haven't used the original (and much better) and more preferable word anyway. :) 

So, I was talking to one of my co-workers a couple of weeks ago and had said *dum dum* a few times (not in reference to her) and eventually let her know what it really meant when I said it. She thought it was pretty cool and so a legend was born. 

https://i.imgur.com/6fgjVbc.jpg

The other day I said, in jest, that we should get *dum dum* cups made and she thought that was cool so that night I went home and ordered some. During the design process on the online site I had an epiphany. I thought it would be cool to have the *dum dum* side of the cup and also on the other side a message of a more positive nature. That way we could send the person we are pointing it at the *dum dum* message whilst receiving a positive message at the same time. So clever! 

The image above shows the end result and the *dum dum* message clearly displayed and as large as life. So now my co-worker and I can sip our tea or coffee and send messages to the people we...Well, think are dum dums. The image below shows the reverse side, the drinkers' side, on which is displayed a message of a positive nature. So, we can send the dum dum a message whilst gaining confirmation of our own awesomeness at the same time. Talk about multi-tasking!

https://i.imgur.com/0KVER01.jpg

Now, as some of you may have worked out if one was to hold the cup in the right hand the *dum dum* message is displayed to the other person and the positive *awesome* message is facing the drinker, or awesome person. It is critically important to ensure that one drinks right handed and not left for obvious reasons. 

For the last week my colleague and I have been *sharing the love* around the office so to speak, having conversations, mug in hand, with various people and surreptitiously swapping the cup to the left or right hand to display the appropriate message. It's been a funny week. 

So, if you swear a lot maybe it's time to supplant the worst of the cuss-words with a code word. It actually worked really well for me as my wife doesn't get on my back about saying the other word and I get to send coded messages around the office as required. 

Ps. I really want to string a great cuss-word poem together for you but I think I'll refrain. Kids may be reading this and I'd hate to be a bad role model; Sports stars and Hollywood wankers do a good enough job at that without me adding to it. 

[- Design and create your ideal life, don’t live it by default -]