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I call myself diligent and disciplined by nature. When I do something I do it to the best of my ability and work at improving my methods or outcomes; it comes naturally and has returned good results over my life. I don't like cutting corners or doing things by halves, it feels wrong and one has to *pay the piper* eventually when corners are cut; doing so often comes back to haunt one later and regret makes a poor companion. 

Having said that, last night I didn't do my job properly as it didn't feel right to do so.
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Some of you may know I have a side-job culling on a cattle farm not too far from where I live. I have seven-day, unlimited access to the property and when there am required to *control pests* that make their way onto the property. I'm talking about kangaroos and deer mainly both of which cost the farmer through loss of precious feed and damaged fences; damaged fences mean loss of stock and that means financial loss. So I control them.

*Control* doesn't mean guiding the pest-animals off the property with hi-vis signs and flags, it means killing them with a rifle. This doesn't mean all of them though. I shoot at a few and the others run or hop away and don't return for a while; *being shot at will do that.* Doing this work makes the farmers operation more cost-effective and it generally keeps the cost of the end-product, the meat you buy in the supermarket, affordable.

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I went culling last night and all of the images in this post are from yesterday including the selfie. It looks nice right? *No, not the selfie,* the farm in general. It's a nice place to be and I'm privileged to have unrestricted access. I have to do my job though. 

Last night I tracked a small group of kangaroos, five in total. There were two big ones, I'd say close to six feet, two of around five feet and a little baby one. I came across them cropping grass and had to work around them to get into a position in which I could safely shoot. I needed a backdrop into which a bullet could land in the advent I missed; it doesn't generally happen but that's not the point. *Safety first.*

It took me around thirty minutes to get into position but as I crept forward they bolted. One doesn't sneak up on a wild kangaroo easily. I was over two hundred metres away but they knew I was there. So the stalk began. 

They hopped down the hill and into a little valley. I lost sight of them all but then saw one standing up looking around. The range was just over two hundred and fifty metres. I shot and down went the animal; it was one of the big ones. I lay still scanning through the scope for more targets but found none. Patience is the key though and before long I saw one of the smaller ones hop back close to where I felled the larger one. I had it in the cross hairs and began going through my shooting procedure and as I exhaled and added pressure to the trigger...

...I stopped. I didn't take the shot. I'd seen something that gave me pause. The kangaroo had come back for the baby one. She had hopped over and right before I sent the round I saw the baby move towards her. I lay there and watched.

They hopped towards the fence line, side by side, then stopped in a spot where I had a clear shot to take her but with that little baby beside her I decided not to take the shot. I watched as they hopped to the fence and in a single bound over she went with the baby struggling its way through the fencing wires. They disappeared into the scrub that borders the property and were gone.

If the farmer knew I'd not taken the shot he'd be annoyed with me and it might even compromise my access to the property; he needs someone to control the animals not let them go. It didn't feel right though and so I didn't shoot. I'm comfortable with the decision and would make it again.
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Killing things doesn't hold much attraction for me but I understand things need to die sometimes. Meat for food, animals used for products like leather, make up, cosmetics, perfume, L-cysteine in bread production, violin strings, bone china, glycerine for explosives, industrial lubricants, shampoos, clothing, chewing gum, lotions, bone char for sugar production, candles and many more products use animals for their production. There's actually a surprisingly long list of products all of which require the animal to die. 

No, I take no pleasure in killing things but it has to be done and at least I know I do it humanely and with respect; some do not. I understand that most people would not be able to do it, but *most people* also use those products above and others so...Yep, *most people condone the need for it,* even though they couldn't, or wouldn't, want to do the killing. They're happy to ignore that it happens and simply use the products generally.

Last night I made the decision not to take that mother's life. It was a decision I made based on the fact it was unlikely I'd also be able to take the baby as it would have hopped away. I wasn't willing to allow the baby, clearly too young to fend for itself, to wander off motherless do die in some lingering way, starvation for instance. 

I know people may judge what I do, but only those who do not use a single product derived from the taking of animal life really have much of an argument and, even then, it's not an *argument I ever have.* I'm comfortable that I kill humanely when required and know when and when not to kill. That's all that really matters I guess. 

Yesterday I didn't perform my job at the best of my ability but I made a judgement that allowed me to go home and feel comfortable about my choice.  Maybe I'll take that kangaroo someday and maybe not. I hope she and her baby don't cross that fence line though and then I'll not need to.

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Design and create your ideal life, don't live it by default - *Tomorrow isn't promised so be humble and kind*

<sub>Discord: galenkp#9209</sub>