Saving my brothers Australian-ness: Travelling the world with Vegemite
travelfeed·@galenkp·
0.000 HBDSaving my brothers Australian-ness: Travelling the world with Vegemite
Meet Vegemite. Vegemite is good. You should eat Vegemite. Because Vegemite is good. Well, the use of the word **_good_** is subjective I suppose as many people, (most people except Aussie's to be honest) hate it Vegemite. Australian's generally love it though; We start eating it as kids on toast in the mornings or on buttered white bread as an after school snack and our fascination with it endures. I'm like most Aussies, I love it, and our household is never without a jar of Vegemite. I think it's a quintessentially Aussie thing and no self-respecting Aussie person should be without it. https://i.imgur.com/26qFcpD.jpg Before I left Australia with my wife Faith we purchased a jar of Vegemite to bring to the UK and on to Finland. It's taunted me every day as it's not actually for me. I'd like nothing more than to turn up for breakfast with my own personal jar of Vegemite however this particular jar is for another purpose; It's to bring my brother @tarazkp's house in Finland to a satisfactory level of Australian-ness as currently it is devoid of Vegemite...Completely Vegemiteless. Before we left Australia I contacted the Australian Government in Canberra and was lucky enough to get the Australian Prime Minister on the phone, *Malcolm Turnbull*, and I asked if my brother''s Australian Citizenship is in danger of being revoked due to his current state of *un-Vegemitedness* and I wasn't surprised to hear Malcolm confirm my suspicions...@tarazkp is in the high-risk zone for Citizenship-revokedness unless a jar of Vegemite is placed in his home in Finland by the end of July 2018. You may be wondering why the Prime Minister answered the phone when I called Parliament House in our Nation's Capital...It's quite simple really...**_Budget cuts_**. They had to fire the receptionist and the work-experience girl took a sickie (Called in sick as is every Aussie's Constitutional right! Anyway, at great risk to my personal health and my own risk of *un-Vegemitedness* I have not cracked that jar of lovely inky-black axle-greasy goodness on my jaunt through England and will deposit it in my brother's kitchen to re-Aussie-up his home. I'm also looking forward to his lovely wife @momone and their daughter (my cute nice) trying it. Always a fun time watching someone try Vegemite for the first time. **Warning: To the uninitiated, Vegemite usually tastes like the worst shit you've ever eaten.** But to Aussie's it's the best thing ever. It is known to completely cure cancer, reverse ageing by the exact number of years you wish to, increase muscle-mass and is pivotal in developing washboard abs. It is used as a cure for shark and crocodile bites of any severity and every Australian knows that one buttered white bread Vegemite sandwich per day is the secret to financial security and wealth. Vegemite is the reason Australia wins all the Gold Medals at every Olympics ever held and were the first nation to put a man on the moon. Vegemite invented the push up bra and mini skirt too...You're welcome. Anyway, as I said above...Vegemite is good. For vegemite recipes go ***<a href="https://vegemite.com.au/">here</a>*** <div class="pull-right">https://i.imgur.com/vjHBhcj.jpg</div> In the images you'll also note a green can. This is Milo, a tasty powdered substance that one mixes with hot or cold milk and then drinks. It is not as famous as Vegemite but has medicinal virtues of it's own. *Got bitten by a King Brown or Tiger snake or maybe a Funnel Web Spider?*...Drink a cup of malty-chocolatey Milo and you'll be right as rain. Anyway, my brother asked that I send some Milo to him a while back so I did...It cost me $100 to post so I decided to bring some with me to give him this time. All he'll need to do is supply the white buttered bread and he'll have himself a breakfast of champions: Milo and Vegemite! He will never need to eat anything else again! Thanks for reading...I'm going to go and check in on the Vegemite to see if it's comfortable...Gotta look after that precious black stuff. :) Ps. Vegemite will never do any of the things I claim in this post (other than tantalise your taste buds in ways they've never been tantalised before)...If you believe most of what I say in this post well...I prescribe a good healthy serving of Vegemite...It'll fix you right up. (No it won't) :)
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