Hey, guys its Gingy,

So I know its been a while since I last posted and there are many personal reasons why. I'm having financial difficulties Lately and have been super stressed out. When I'm stressed my anxiety goes up bad and I often feel sick. I honestly don't know what to do I've told my wife everything will be ok but we honestly barely have enough money to pay rent and electric. I feel ashamed of my self for not being able to keep a normal job. I need help guys I am struggling and really don't know what to do. when I get like this I tend to shy away from people I tend to try to do it on my own. I guess we will make it somehow but for now, I guess I find my rambling on in this blog a little relaxing. Personally, I don't think anyone will help me because it has never happened. I can't even get my own mother to help me yet she takes care of my sisters whenever they need it or help my brother but because I'm the oldest I should have my shit together. She doesn't understand not everyone can make it she expects me to get a job but she doesn't understand what its like to have Ptsd. I'm sorry for ranting but I needed it. well have a good day I'm going to go relax and pay what bills I can