Danfo: A Song of Shame and Disaster (Comedy Open Mic Round 6)
funny·@holybranches·
0.000 HBDDanfo: A Song of Shame and Disaster (Comedy Open Mic Round 6)
<h6>Cliamer: Danfo = "commercial bus shutter."</h6> -------------------- ---------------- ------- </sub>[pixabay.com](pixabay.com)</sub> The conductor’s smelling armpit is having a field day whipping my nostrils to tears. My steps are no longer ordered. Hasn’t been ordered for a while. This is what I get for forgetting pop’s glasses at the office. Dude wouldn’t even let me use his car. “Oshodi Oshodi!” another hive of pungency yells out. Great. Now I have to dodge life threatening arrows from two angles. All angles. Even his shirt says “yo men, you feel my stink?” A miracle is happening. Anything that saves me from this agony of hell has to be. A distressed man just signaled to alight before we even get deep into the journey. Bad news perhaps. Wife found the slutty mistress and is probably standing over her with a knife trickling with blood. Who cares. Bless you nigga. You’ve saved me from the Agony of a Shuttle. Will write a proposal to the Pope for your canonization. Now fuck off. Okay now this just confirmed the miracle. There are two hot chicks flanking the just freed seat. So what. So what? Try being a sex starved idiot. </sub>[pixabay.com](pixabay.com)</sub> Now you think I am a creep or something. I just… you know what? Forget it. I am a normal guy with normal brain who thinks normally. I will behave goddamn it. No flinching or peeping. Nothing. Wait. Did she just nudge me with her water melon? This soft rudder my elbow seems to enjoy nodding has to be… Jeez. It really is. Now be a good kid and let go of the flesh. Realign and readjust your body. Common! Chill I’ve got this. I’ve… finally. This is getting harder though. This rickety bus is using potholes as an excuse to juggle me into a clash with this thing that lead to the demise of King Solomon swinging me side from side, giving me a double treat. Fuck it. I am napping. The sit’s head looks pretty comfortable. Resting my head backwards, I can feel its embracing welcome, soft leather and all. </sub>[pixabay.com](pixabay.com)</sub> Kpukum. Another pothole just tackled the rickety junk of a bus, tackled me out of my dozing mode. But something is different. I can’t find my head were I placed them. What again is this soft… oh… is a rudder, the rudder. Remove your head now will ya? Common men I have pulled every trick in the book to stay out of the way, are you sure this thing doesn’t want me? Maybe the gods of horniness just felt: well let’s cut this guy some slack. 8 months of no sex can make a man’s balls override his brain in thinking activities. And is the owner even complaining? Don’t think so. I am going all in menh. To hell with the consq. With my resumption, the potholes likewise resume their work but this time they don’t have to work so hard. With every bit of kinesthetic intelligence, I’ve got in me, my head remains fully dedicated to maintaining absolute contact with this pillow of comfort. Did she just make an uncomfortable adjustment? Like try to pull off a little? Nah… don’t think so. Won’t even think about it. I am vested in this. This current must be tapped. My sorrows are disappearing with every minute I maintain contact so why stop? Wait. Am I even in a bus? Is this even happening real life? Not sure and frankly, don’t have time to think and to hell am I babying all in. </sub>[pixabay.com](pixabay.com)</sub> Adjust adjust. Feel this thing dude. When was the last time you… right. See? That’s why you must seize this moment. Okay what do I do now? Just rotate your face a little, let your real face and not just the side partake in this unholy communion. Right right… and whoooooooop! Did someone just… another whoooooop! “you are mad!” whooooooooooooooop! “you are very stupid!” “Madam, what is it?!” “It is this idiot o. He wants to rape me!” Their eyes all stand like watch tower torches, like a cat waiting for a rat to jump out from its hiding place, to give them a reason to beat out the tapped current in my cheek. What is left of it anyway after the hot slaps. The bus is no longer moving. Halted by the driver I guess and now the conductor is ordering me to step down at the request of the Bosom lady. Their eyes continue to search my mouth for some explanation but down is the way I press my eyes. If only I hadn’t forgotten my old man’s glasses or made use of the Sex House at the back of Obalende Stop or just fucking stayed put under a smelly armpit. ------------------------------------- -------------------------- ------------------------------ I nominate @majorsteemian and @kekegist for the next round. Check out the rules [here](https://steemit.com/comedyopenmic/@comedyopenmic/4pmdkb-comedy-open-mic-round-rules)
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