I used to be hard, used to be strong n rough

I used to beat my chest with a closed fist n could never get enough

I used to stand tall with my head held high

I used to shake hands firmly and look everyone straight in the eyes

I used to get into fights and occasionally end them too

I used walk into a room and be the smiling guy everyone knew

Life was a war with a series of battles and chess was the game

I believed i could out think out smart out play any player all the same

Nobody could hurt my queen no body could best my plan

I believed i was the epitomy and greatest of all present man

I used to wish i could split myself in two so that the love and greatness i was could be shared

I thought so highly of all i had become but truth be told i was never more unprepared

Ive forgotten my greatness was but a gifted fraction from jesus himself 

In forgetting the lord i broke my soul and poisened my spiritual health

Today im soft, fragile and weak

I can barely stand the pressure in my chest made by my own heart beat

In fact i dont stand today i just barely crawl

Head bowed eyes down, afraid if i stood i would instantly fall

Ill tell people i pick n choose my fights being wise

But the truth is im too afraid to fight and my wisdom is a disguise

My smiles are often forced and id rather not be seen all together

Im afraid of my destiny afraid of my forever

Ive grown weary of battles and the war is closing in

If chess was the game im but a single pawn with only a king  and queen left to win

My challenger has bested me thus far with wit and finesse

The devil happens to be unexpectedly amazingly good at chess

The epitomy of man of thought of skill! Not even close

Im the epitomy of the weakest possilbe will at most

I now wish i could not be duplicated  but destroyed into the dust

For my mistakes my selfishness, greed, and lust

I feel more related to the worst of mankind than ive ever dared to envision

A feeble human wanting to just love yet deceived and entrapped with precision

Though i feel my worth is smaller than a grain of sand

There are but few facts
I truly understand

I am broken, i am weak, im hurt
Humbled to my knees and thirsty

I lay upon the ground begging and praying for peace and mercy

If Chess be the game i need no longer be the controlling player

My calling is to be a humble pawn at the mercy and service of someone greater.

I can only hope i am not too late to lay my life at the feet of the one true king

Though afraid i pray im not too imperfect to be a witness to his mighty conquering.

If Chess be the game let the devil play the lord

Let me only play the part that i was born and designed for

If chess be the game and i but a 
pawn 

Let the lord guide me to the opponents end so that i a new being should respawn

If chess be the game and as a pawn i should die

Let my sacrafice be for the lord the greater end of all and I.

If chess be the game i but a knight

Let the lord purpose me to his will in the fight

If chess be the game and should i be any other piece

Let me trust in the lord and fulfill my purpose with ease.