Hello friends. I saw this initiative from my friend @rosahidalgo in the @holos-lotus  community and I found it really interesting.


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When I got married I thought it would be for life, that's what we all expect when we unite our lives with the being we love. My courtship lasted 5 years, during which time I tried to break up with him twice. I sat down to talk with him, which was very difficult for me since it was difficult for me to talk about the things that bothered me about the relationship. It wasn't long before everything was forgotten and the problems began.

When that time came I told her: Do you want to get married or leave it here, but I don't want to be the bride anymore, I want to be the wife. So he told me: We got married. This marriage lasted 28 years, with more downs than ups.

We had 3 children, who are my treasures. Tiredness and boredom knocked on the door and along with that the infidelities that he never recognized me, but that I saw at every moment. He kept making attempts to separate me and I always declined in my decision, because of the children, because of the love I still had for him or for any reason that I invented.

By the way, my great friend went through the divorce first and when we talked she told me: I'm not going to leave it to her. And I answered him: What is it that you are not going to leave him, if the one who does not have it is you? He already left you! I never shared those kinds of thoughts, not breaking up with a harmful relationship just for ego or for saying: he is my husband. But he doesn't live with you, he doesn't care for you and maybe he doesn't want to hear from you anymore.

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One day I discovered some papers in the name of a woman and I began to investigate what it was all about, because in my husband's briefcase there was a folder with all her data ?. I began my stage as a researcher and you know that this is what women are made for, we have intuition or the sixth sense.

When I asked him about it, he didn't deny it, for the first time he told me yes, that she existed, which made me think of two answers: 1.- that he wanted me to accept him and continue living like this, now with a third person in our relationship. Or 2.- He wanted us to break up and he didn't have the courage to tell me and he was just letting me make the decision.

So my mind flew back in time as if I was watching a movie of my life, I did the math, my children were already adults and even married, the opportunity for separation had finally come! So I told him very calmly: pick up your things and go, otherwise I'll pick them up but I'll throw them off the balcony.

I have been living for twelve years without the anguish of knowing if I arrived early, who would I be with? I sleep alone in my bed and I stretch out to my heart's content in it and above all I have physical and mental peace.

**When you discover lies it is a sign that you have to leave.**

A lie surely leads to many others, although there are conversations and agreements, it always ends up being a repeat offender in lies. Lies and deception is a psychological abuse and many people do not know it, lying is a disease that those who suffer from it must attend a psychologist to help them professionally.

**If he makes you choose, run away!!**

There are very subtle and intelligent ways to leave the decision to one person for the other to get rid of the choice. Being put in the situation of: yes, I did it, leaves you the obligation to decide what to do immediately. So don't think about it too much and value yourself, tell him go away or I'll go, but don't continue with that relationship because you're already on notice that worse things are coming.

There are many indicators that it is time to leave, surely my colleagues have shown many of them in their publications, so take note and pay close attention.

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Traduccion al Español:

Hola amigos. Vi esta iniciativa de la amiga @rosahidalgo en la comunidad de @holos-lotus y me parecio en verdad interesante.

Cuando me case pense que seria para toda la vida, eso es lo que esperamos todos cuando unimos nuestra vida al ser que amamos. Mi noviazgo duro 5 años, tiempo en el cual intente romper 2 veces con el. Me sente a conversar con el, cosa que fue muy dificil para ya que me costaba hablar, de las cosas que me molestaban de la relacion. No pasaba mucho tiempo cuando todo se olvidaba y comanzaban los problemas.

Llegado ese tiempo le dije: Te quieres casar o lo dejamos hasta aqui, pero yo no quiero ser mas la novia, quiero ser la esposa. Asi que me dijo: Nos casamos. Este matrimonio duro 28 años, con mas bajos que altos.

Tuvimos 3 hijos, los cuales son mis tesoros. El cansancio y aburrimiento nos toco a la puerta y junto con eso las infidelidades que el nunca me reconocio, pero que lo veia a cada momento. Seguia haciendo intentos por separarme y siempre declinava en mi decision, por los hijos, por el amor que todavia le tenia o por cualquier motivo que yo me inventara.

Por cierto, mi gran amiga paso primero por el divorcio que yo y cuando conversabamos me decia: Yo no se lo voy a dejar a ella. Y yo le respondia: Que es lo que no le vas a dejar, si la que no lo tiene eres tu ? El ya te dejo a ti!!. Nunca comparti esa clase de pensamientos, no romper con una relacion dañina solo por ego o por decir: el es mi esposo. Pero no vive contigo, no te atiende y quizas no quiera saber de ti ya nunca mas. 

Cierto dia descubri unos papeles a nombre de una mujer y me puse a investigar de que se trataba todo eso, por que en el maletin de mi esposo habia una carpeta con todos sus datos ?. Comence mi etapa de investigadora y ustedes saben que para eso las mujeres estamos echas, tenemos la intuicion o el sexto sentido.

Cuando le pregunte sobre el tema no me lo nego, por primera vez me dijo que si, que ella existia, cosa que me puso a pensar en dos respuestas: 1.- que queria que yo lo aceptara y que siguiera viviendo asi, ahora con una tercera persona en nuestra relacion. O 2.- queria que rompieramos y no tuvo el valor de decirmelo y solo estaba dejando que yo tomara la decision.

Asi que mi mente volo en el tiempo como si estuviera viendo una pelicula de mi vida  saque cuentas, mis hijos ya estaban adultos y hasta casados, la oportunidad de la separacion habia llegado, por fin !! Asi que le dije muy tranquilamente: recoge tus cosas y te vas, de lo contrario te las recojo yo pero las tiro por el balcon.

Hace ya doce años que vivo sin la angustia de saber si llegara temprano, con quien estara ? Duermo sola en mi cama y me estiro a mis anchas en ella y sobre todo tengo paz fisica y mental.

**Cuando descubras mentiras es una señal de que hay que irse.**

Una mentira de seguro lleva a muchas otras, aunque hay conversaciones y convenios siempre termina siendo un reincidente en las mentiras. Las mentiras y el engaño es un maltrato psicologico y muchas personas no lo saben, la mentira es una enfermedad que el que la padece debe asistir a un psicologo para que lo ayude profesionalmente.

**Si te ponen a escoger, huye !!**

Hay maneras muy sutiles e inteligentes de dejarle la desicion a una persona para la otra librarse de todo. El que te pongan en la situalcion del: si, yo lo hice, te deja a ti la obligacion de decidir el que hacer de inmediato. Asi que no lo pienses mucho y valorate, dile vete o me voy yo, pero no sigas con esa relacion porque ya estas sobre aviso de que vienen cosas peores.

Existen muchos indicadores de que es momento de irse, seguramente mis compañeros han mostrado muchos de ellos en sus publicaciones, asi que toma nota y presta mucha atencion. 

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