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One person wants money and power, the other dreams of love and travel. One world is full of friends, and the other under the bed are monsters. And although we know that there are no absolutely identical people, we often forget that our interlocutor looks at things differently. We confidently imposed upon others his own tastes and interests. We feed them with their favorite food, which makes them sick, and make them listen to the music, which they wither ears. Grandchildren give grandparents a hockey stick, and grandchildren grandmother for knitting. But people are stubborn. They are in no hurry to accept our point of view. They reject our proposals, advice and even gifts. We are sometimes offended when they refuse to wear "that wonderful blouse" or those "cool jeans" that we chose for them with such love. Are all these people stupid? Or perhaps they persist because of the harm and chronic desire to contradict? Or do they secretly hate us and try to hurt us?

Our trouble is that we look at everything through the prism of our own self, and it distorts the world like a curved mirror. Therefore, we measure people by our measure, compare other people's tastes with our own, and laugh at goals that are far from ours. We deny others their right to be individuals. And if the fundamental religions have inviolable freedom of will, then we indignantly reject the right of people to free choice. We'd make a very cruel and jealous gods. 

Unwillingness to understand others makes us stupid. "If you loved me, you would have liked my stubble."- offended unshaven man on his wife. "Why don't you invite your fiancé to our house? Are you embarrassed by your mother and father?"- accuse parents-Sluts the adult daughter. Our point of view, like a billiard ball, constantly collides with the points of view of others. We suffer and cause suffering to others. But we do not want to seek compromises, and therefore any disagreement with our opinion - automatically turns into a dispute, and then into a protracted conflict.

But, let's break the shell of egoism and look at things from the point of view of others. And the moment we impose our tastes on someone again, we will try to see ourselves through his eyes. And perhaps we deem this sight is so repulsive that to abandon our desire to draw nearer to their faith. The art of looking at the world through the eyes of others, allows us to better calculate the consequences of their actions. After all, we will get feedback at the very beginning, even before they did something irreparable. 


# But how to learn this "art"?

- First, understand what the interlocutor wants. No, not what you want in its place, and that is what he wants. But do not deny a person the nobility! Remember: no matter how bad we treat him, he does not consider himself bad. And, most likely, his "lowly aspirations" hide quite understandable and even noble motives.

- Secondly, find out what your interlocutor is afraid of. Everyone has their own fears. Some of them are quite clear, others irrational and pursue us from early childhood. And perhaps your friend does not come to your home not because of contempt, but only because he is afraid to go to the eighth floor in the Elevator. Or your cat is the world champion in the amount of hair left behind, and your friend is allergic.

- Thirdly, to understand others, do not need any analytical skills or telepathy. Sometimes you can directly ask a person about his desires and fears. But often enough ordinary tact, to not provoke conflict and not put each other in an awkward position.

And finally, when making decisions, consider the interests of others, and if necessary - look for compromises. This does not mean that we should give in to everything. Just moving to your goal, let's try not to step on the feet of others!



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