Learning to say NO!!!!!

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·@jaynie·
0.000 HBD
Learning to say NO!!!!!
![NO.jpg](https://steemitimages.com/DQmatQVC9R2FzLewcD8KvmJahwdj5iNE6RCSCU9opJX4eok/NO.jpg)

I cannot speak for the thoughts of other parents but I think that our modern society and high pressured life styles can really mess with the balance and efficiency when it come to the upbringing of our kids.

In short – kids simply don’t hear the words NO often enough anymore and because of that, they are affected negatively in so many ways! 

>“If you have never been hated by your child, you have never been a parent.” ― Bette Davis

I know I am guilty… 

<center>![](https://steemitimages.com/DQmZFTLaQcsmgjD6ZRrrJxYMW6g8GYzSKVX5xQGES3EcSH9/image.png)</center>
[Image Credit](https://www.thefreshquotes.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/I-Don%E2%80%99T-Intentionally-Spoil-My-Grandkids.-It%E2%80%99S-Just-That-Correcting-Them-Often-Takes-More-Energy-Than-I-Have-Left.-%C2%BB-Gene-Perret.jpg)

On occasion, because of work pressure and lack of time availability I will say yes to things that I should be saying NO to – such as additional tablet time, a new toy, more sweets than what is usually allowed, staying up a little later – so on and so forth.

Now, whilst allowing them to bend our rubber arms in situations like this offers us a temporary solution – I have come to the conclusion that we are doing serious long term damage to the way they think, handle situations as well as to their overall character development.

I do realise that this is not rocket science, but the reality of the matter is that despite all of the best intentions as parents, we all stray off the straight and narrow from time to time – so I thought it would be a good idea to try and get us back on track… and perspective is normally a very effective method.

There is a lot to be said for the older, more conservative child raising approach and in my opinion it most certainly does seem to produce very well rounded individuals.

Let’s look at just a few aspects…

![Quotefancy-2994317-3840x2160.jpg](https://steemitimages.com/DQmdzuCyJtVkrwkUKPSAdAvBxHs2pJggymfVbJKnAEPhkTn/Quotefancy-2994317-3840x2160.jpg)
[Image Credit](https://quotefancy.com/quote/1133678/Amy-Chua-Kids-raised-to-be-pampered-and-spoiled-don-t-really-end-up-being-good-leaders)

# THE LITTLE FAVOURS

All the little “graces” that we are giving our kids are absolutely NOT doing them any favours – in fact, it is doing the complete opposite. We are doing them a complete disservice!

Whether it is hanging up their towel after bathing, carrying their school bag from the car to the classroom or dressing them – all these seemingly little and significant things compound - and at the end of the day, the result is a child that for the most part, expects everything to be done for them, gives up a lot easier when it comes to seeing a challenge through to the end and lacks the appropriate level of confidence and independence as a whole.

Children should be encouraged to do these little things by themselves, for themselves - at least a good portion of the time.

![](https://steemitimages.com/DQmajBnB7tv7TyyycsLq1UT6eeSNDcrSDynMCDu2U4Mem7R/image.png)
[Image Credit](https://faithalongtheway.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/Generation-Quote.jpg)

# THE LUXURIES	

Presents should be restricted to special occasions like birthdays and as rewards for achievements or celebratory milestones. Buying your child a small toy or such almost every time you walk into a supermarket is only teaching them to expect that. My mom – granny to five, used to bring a present with, every time she visited one of the grandkids… until eventually it got to a point where the kids would ask where their present was before they even greeted her. Needless to say, that “tradition” came to an abrupt ending… and for very good reason lol.

Sweets and junk food in general should (truth be told) be avoided as much as humanly possible and there are many healthier alternatives available these days, but at the very least, I think they should be allowed on weekends only. This not only gives the child something to look forward to, like a pending celebration. It also limits a developing dependency on sugar as well as keeping their general overall health and weight in check. It is actually shocking how many young kids are overweight these days. Allowing your kids access to sweets, luxuries and junk food on a regular or “anytime” basis is doing a lot more than affecting their health and attitude – it is also affecting the natural balance of their hormones and emotional stability with the constant highs and lows caused by the sugar.

![](https://steemitimages.com/DQmdJEjHbBrMP3uSVVHVhv933ugMxrmyQD75c2eQK9qXa7y/image.png)
[Image Credit](http://newsandbusiness.rogersdigitalmedia.com.edgesuite.net/bcassets/13639244001/13639244001_5280028699001_5280012233001-vs.jpg?pubId=13639244001)

# TECHNOLOGY

This is one that I am beginning to feel very strongly about… and whilst I do want my child to develop a good knowledge and understanding of computers, tablets etc. I do not want to expose him to the absolutely detrimental effects it has when used too much such.

Kids “play” time these days revolves far too much around technology and it is stunting their development in multiple ways -  coordination disorder, developmental delays, unintelligible speech, learning difficulties, sensory processing disorder, anxiety, depression, and sleep disorders are just some issues associated with technology overuse, and they are all increasing at a disturbing pace.

I have noticed this with my own child… when he spends too much time in front of technology he actually becomes quite a miserable person. He sulks a lot and is very moody in general.

Kids need to get back to the basics! Go outside and play! Simple!

The techno time should be a lot more limited than it is in most households… and first thing in the morning and just before bed are just absolute No no’s!

When kids are forced outside to play, they are in the best possible position. Not only are they then physically active, but they are developing their social and imaginative skills. If outside is not a daily option for whatever reason then there are plenty of other solutions for playtime that will still keep them away from tablets, TV’s and the like.

I don’t want my child to be robbed of ANY facet of development – and whilst I understand the pivotal role which technology plays in our society today and it is essential that they are familiar with it… what use is it to them if they are stunted in every other facet of their lives?

<center>![](https://steemitimages.com/DQmepog68HPmFxTfzcrVqxb9NX1VwGTouLshrtaC2e1uqjq/image.png)</center>
[Image Credit](https://i.pinimg.com)

I understand (as any parent does) how difficult it can be at times to say no to your kids… they are master manipulators haha – and we are generally their BIGGEST suckers! But through trial and error, we need to learn that saying NO to certain things on a regular basis is the best thing for our children.

[Header Image Credit](https://www.google.co.za)

Until next time...

Much Love from Cape Town, South Africa xxx

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