Have you ever met a group of old friends and been invited someplace that you aren't interested in going to?

It's a difficult thing isn't it?

_Yes I know I haven't seen you in over 10 years,  but no I wouldn't like to hang out tonight._

_Oh you just got divorced and now you want to tell me all about how much you hate your wife even though I haven't spoken to you in more than 12 years and we just saw each other again?  Yeah going out to the bar later sounds fun._

No.  

No it doesn't.

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_Source: PIxabay.com_

So how do you handle a situation in which an old friend you haven't seen in a long time wants you to hang out but you aren't interested?  

Tactfully?

_Sorry but I'm doing something else tonight._

That's a good concept but it just doesn't work.

_You're doing something else that's more important than hanging out with an old friend you haven't seen in more than 10 years?_  

You see?  It doesn't work.

You're probably thinking _why wouldn't you want to hang out with your old friend that you haven't seen in more than 10 years?_

The answer is that not everyone is actually your friend. You could have an enemy that you used to truly hate but if he saw you 10 years from now,  he would probably say _oh my goodness I'm so glad to see you!_  

I'm not really sure what causes people to act like that. I guess you didn't remember how much we didn't get along.

That's why there's only one good response when someone you haven't seen in a long time says _hey would you like to hang out together later?_

That response is _Sure I'll see you there._

For all you know you might actually end up going,  so you're not necessarily lying. I absolutely don't advocate lying at all and in this situation you aren't lying.   Nobody knows the future.

However,  this way you make certain that this person knows that at the very least you would like to hang out with them. It might not even be true,  but there's simply no way to let people know that you aren't interested in cultivating a relationship with them. 

Nobody wants to hear that, and nobody should hear that.

It's a difficult thing maintaining old relationships.  When I meet someone that I truly used to enjoy spending time with I definitely would go hang out with them. However,  so many people seem to think that just because they knew you once upon a time that you were the best of friends. 

You don't have to pretend that you were.

Just say _Sure I'll see you there._

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