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Somewhere in the back of my mind I seem to carry the notion that Krishna is testing me when I am in a difficult situation. He put me in the situation. That makes it difficult to think of Him with love. Like He is trying to force me to surrender by torturing me. 

But that is not what being tested means at all. The difficult situations are simply a result of my own poor choices. Any decision based simply on material consideration is going to end badly. Material means at some point it ends. There can never really be any such thing as material success. Material success for how long. A lifetime? Fifty years? During youth? For a year? A day? A minute or two? What kind of success is that? 

The test is when that material decision reaches its ultimate end and I am left frustrated, confused and disturbed what do I do? Do I admit defeat? Do I surrender? Or do I make plans to try again? 

The test is of my faith in the Lord and my realization of the Lord. The test is will I confess that my own choices based on a material conception of the self lead me to this impasse. My own misuse of free will. Do I surrender at that point? 

The final test is death for this lifetime. Do I exercise my free will in defiance and again begin another series of choices based on a material conception of the self? Another material body?

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http://www.harekrishna.com/col/books/KR/cb/