<br><br><center>*To gain your own voice, 
you have to forget about having it heard.
―Allen Ginsberg*</center>


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![suspicion 3.jpg](https://images.hive.blog/DQmRoW1wtdGP2VYWZMafo9uEwnRSf2PVjQggz3yoHQiTuqs/suspicion%203.jpg)
*Suspicion*</center>



<br><br>It's when I feel foolish, I'm most vulnerable and do my best writing. 

Although to be honest, right now I'm feeling very exposed and sensitive because Shannon Holmes has asked me to dinner and she's a media legend with Oscars and Emmys to prove it.

What she wants from me is a complete mystery. I'm sure she doesn't want poetry or adult fiction. 

Maybe if Tobias Lawrence, my agent, is right, she wants to turn one of my novels into a movie. Now, that would be interesting―it would be more that a step up from my 60 Minutes interview where I opened a vein for the world to see and bled out on prime time.

Or maybe I'm being too cynical, even for me.

<br><br>Shannon chose *Sassafraz* for our meeting―interesting and curious that she'd pick such a romantic spot in the village set in amongst a row of Victorian townhouses.

As you may have guessed, Shannon is  beautiful as well as enormously talented, and I'm not being humble, just realistic, that In my clear-eyed appraisal of my literary stature, I don't bring much to the table. 

Okay, pardon the pun, but my point is made and I'm feeling apprehensive and uncomfortable.

Is the girl in love with me? Again, highly doubtful. Then what am I doing here? Fact is, I'm intrigued and attracted by her beauty.

<br><br>"Hello Cole," she smiles up at me, as I approach her table. "You're prompt to a fault―not fashionablly late, no variance or shadow of turning in you. You're the vox populii."

"Hello Shannon," I smile back, "Not the voice of the people, just an honest man in search of a good meal with a beautiful woman."

"Flattery will get your everywhere," she laughs in a falsetto eerily reminiscent of Mia Farrow portraying Daisy in *The Great Gatsby*.

*She's got money in her voice*―the line just pops into my head and it's perfect and describes the decadence of this lavish restaurant meal and the direction it's taking.

<br><br>"Are you in love with me yet?" she giggles, like a silly school girl and I must admit I'm infatuated although unsure what that will get me.

"I let James Pollock pick the wine," she chirps, and I'm a bit intimidated. She's on speaking terms with the establishment's wine director. 

*Whatever does she want from me?*

"I thought we'd get drunk and run through the water feature at Nathan Phillip's Square and end up at the Park Hotel's rooftop terrace."

<br><br>"An ambitious itinerary, but not for the faint-hearted." I opine.

"I have security people―don't worry, we won't get arrested. You could use a hint of scandal, Cole―you're too starched and proper, in my humble opinion."

"Ha ha, after drinking this cab sav we'd be too tipsy for midnight adventures. I'd rather stay here and drink in the magic of this place."

"Oh, very well―you're such a ruiner, Cole―no sense of adventure. But, it's kind of what I like about you―so stable and down-to-earth."

"That's me―dinner at eight and home and in bed by eleven."

<br><br>"I don't doubt it, so I ordered us comfort food so you'd feel right at home. Took the liberty of ordering  beef tenderloin―I'm sure you'll love it."

I shake my head in disbelief. I have to admit she's charming.

"Well, I am curious about one thing, Shannon―what did I do to curry such favour?"

"You're you―you're authentic. You're the voice of the common man―exactly what I want for my next venture."

"And what exactly did you have in mind?"

"A distinct, non-partisan, phone-in radio show with you as moderator."

<br><br>I had to stifle the urge to laugh in her face.

"I'm not Larry King and I hate suspenders."

"Oh c'mon, Cole―it's so delightfully retro it will just catch on. People are tired of the partisan divide and fake everything. You're genuine―you're real. In a month the whole damn world will be talking about you."

I shook my head. "Look Shannon, I appreciate your selecting me for this great cultural experiment, but it's not my lane―I know my limitations."

"Well, that's just it, Liam―you don't. People like you. The audience response from the 60 Minutes interview was amazing. People relate to you the way they do to Anderson Cooper―they see you as a regular person."

<br><br>Last thing I expected to be getting from Shannon was a hard-sell. I was flattered but what she was pitching was totally outside my comfort zone.

"Look Shannon, I'm flattered but I'm not about to make a fool of myself even if it's only on radio, or a podcast―I have a motto―I only write what I know. Same is true in everything I do. I couldn't even begin to do a real depth interview, let alone any kind of investigative report, so it'd just end up being chatter." 

"*Chatter*? I love it! That's what we'll call it. Didn't I say you were a natural?"

I roll my eyes heavenward. "I get the distinct impression that men have never told you no."

"Do I look like the kind of woman men would reject?"

<br><br>I hate trap questions and I'm still off-kilter―what the hell does she see in me that I don't?

"Listen Liam, you haven't even let me tell you about the concept for the show. It's right up your alley―you're inquisitive about everything. I mean, who studies archeology and goes on digs in their spare time? Most people might read Russian Literature but you enrolled in a Slavics course at U of T―what were you planning to do―become a rival to Pushkin?"

I'm on the defensive now. "I want to enjoy the poetry and that's what gets lost in the translation."

And then it occurs to me―how the hell does she know everything about my private life?

<br><br>"I know what you're thinking but..."

I jump right in. "You don't know what I'm thinking."

"Actually, I do and don't deny that's what was going through your mind just a minute ago. Why don't you just sit back, enjoy your beef tenderloin and let me tell you a bit about what I'm going to propose? If you're not reassured, you can walk right out that door, no questions asked. We'll have had dinner. Slam, bam, thank you, M'am. And I'll go my way and you'll go yours."

I suddenly realize why she has all those Oscars and Emmy's. This girl always gets what she wants...and that's exactly why I'm worried.




<br><br> <center>To be continued…</center>

<br><center>© 2021, John J Geddes. All rights reserved</center>

<br><center>[Photo](https://images.app.goo.gl/9euvDssTC1YDs5oJ7)</center>
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