<br><br><center>*I get mixed up with the life we led
and the life I imagined*
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<br><br>I was in sweat pants and a tee sipping coffee with Sarah who looked elegant as a Vogue model in her little black dress. We were an incongruous pair, always out of phase, as ill-fated as star-crossed lovers which we weren't...yet.

Okay, I know this sounds insane but I couldn't piece out the puzzle any further.

I was confused, off-balance and bewildered―I felt we had a history but never lived it except in dreams, if that makes sense to anyone―and I'm not sure it does to me.

And I still hadn't gotten an explanation of what she meant when I told her I didn't know where I belonged except in her arms and she replied, I always said that, no matter what life we lived. What the hell kind of a statement was that?

Talk about not making sense...

<br><br>"I know you don't understand the dream and what it meant," she said, "But I'm not sure you'll be any more satisfied with my explanation."

"Try me," I said flatly.

"The short explanation is I had a moment of confusion―that's why I kissed you. I'm happily married to the man of my dreams. Marcus is a university Professor and we met and fell in love under strange circumstances, but we're soul mates."

I stared at her thinking if she were a saleswoman I wouldn't buy what she was selling.

<br><br>"Okay, let me get this straight. You're happily married and in love but suddenly got confused and  kissed another man passionately on the lips. Is that about right?"

She uttered a huge sigh. "Look, I know it sounds absurd but you're just going to have to trust me on this. It's a bit complicated and we're in the middle of a case―I tried to convince Jason Trent, my supervisor to reassign me but he wouldn't do it. So, you're stuck with me and for all our sakes, let's just make the best of it and continue moving forward."

"Business as usual?" I asked.

She nodded. "It's the best approach under the circumstances."

"Well, okay," I muttered, "at this point I don't need any more drama."

<br><br>She got up to leave and there was another moment when I was tempted to hug her. I didn't know where the hell these feelings were coming from, but going forward I was hell bent on trying to ignore them.

Still It was really weird. Once Sarah was outside, she looked herself again―tough and confident. Even her appearance hardened and little and *Vulnerable Sarah* was gone, replaced by a streetwise cop, jaded and cynical, suspicious of everyone.

<br><br>I’d like to say I felt relieved that somehow the situation was resolved to everyone’s satisfaction, but that would be a lie.

I felt a gaping hole inside me I didn’t even know was there before Sarah entered my life.

And I knew despite her attempts to put a brave face on things, she had been shaken too and our agreement didn’t really solve anything.

We both might be able to regulate our actions but dreams were quite another thing. And there was a killer on the loose who would exploit any missed signals between us.


 

<br><br> <center>To be continued…</center>

<br><center>© 2021, John J Geddes. All rights reserved</center>

<br><center>[Photo](https://www.wallpaperflare.com/women-blonde-face-blue-eyes-portrait-depth-of-field-sweater-wallpaper-csbok)</center>

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