Someone called me a few days, but I wasn't fit enough to pick up their call, when I called them back at night, I told them I haven't been well for over 5 weeks, and I just got a little bit better to use my phone.

 After feeling sorry for my situation, that went ahead and started telling me about how their father was in hospital and unconscious and how they had to spend about two weeks in the hospital, caring for him and how they're practically broke to the teeth. 

I know this person quite well, we went to college together eleven years ago, (I dropped out, but they went on to graduate) we weren't exactly that close, but after graduating, they started helping I and one other friend to do a few things, so that was how I reconnected with them. 

While we probably only talk once in 5 months, I still hold them dear to heart. Unfortunately this person has been having financial problems for a while, and most times, I try to help in ways I can. 

After listening to their story about their father, I was moved and wanted to send them some money, only to realize I actually don't know when next im going to get paid for the jobs I've done previously, since I didn't have any decent compounding income, I'm mostly concerned about spending money as they come. So I promised I'd give them some money when I get some

I have hospital bills coming to pay in a few weeks time and a expensive medications to buy thereafter. I'm the guy who likes to help, I just hate it when people are in need or suffering, unfortunately I can't even pay my own bills.


 I'm not fit to hold down a solid 9 to 5, basically not healthy enough to do heavy jobs, but I still don't have a handicapped mindset, I still believe I have the capability to give, but somehow, for someone with such a mentality, my body gives up on me when I don't expect it, and somehow this makes me disappoint people without even planning to. 

Either I'm out or I can't meet up, or I make a promise to come through and eventually I couldn't. 

It's unbelievable but that's life, a lot of things is dependent on what happens to your body or mind. Without being fit or healthy enough, there are many limitations that stares you in the face, and this is really hard.

 The mind might be strong but the body is weak, or vice versa sometimes you need a clean slate to function: come through for people, help them and maybe build transactional relationships. Unfortunately I no longer try to explain for being absent because sometimes people don't understand, this is fine.