HOW TO COMMIT SUICIDE WITHOUT DYING (Comedy openmic 22)
comedyopenmic·@josediccus·
0.000 HBDHOW TO COMMIT SUICIDE WITHOUT DYING (Comedy openmic 22)
.jpg)  ###### [Image pixabay](https://pixabay.com/en/stop-children-suicide-2780203/) <hr> Life has it's advantages and it's disadvantages one disadvantage of being alive is that someday you get to die I mean have you ever imagined yourself inside a casket with people wearing glasses and pretending to be sad? However there are so many advantages of being dead for example when you die you're free from people you're owing money, because they can't collect it anymore, imagine how cool that is? Sometimes life wants to make us commit suicide but we don't want to die, I mean imagine a girl who's heartbroken from a relationship, she feels like handing a rope ontop of her roof and removing the chair, but she wants to stay alive and see if her bitchy boyfriend will cry. Life is complications sometimes people eat hundred bars of chocolate hoping that they will die of diabetes but they just end up getting overweight and obese, that's why we see so many overweight girls. don't blame me, they're the ones who chose to eat fatty food hoping it will kill them but it just added a trinity of weight on them. In other situation people starts drinking and hoping they will die of renal failure, but when they see a fast moving car they run so madly like a cheetah I met a girl who wanted to commit suicide, and when I asked her why she said because every man she meets wants to have two minutes in the toilet with her, it made me laugh so much I started to sweat in my kidney but then I looked at her and she looked bumpy in all the right places believe me. But then an idea struck me, I told her to donate her boobs to charity, and well donate her backside to the motherless babies home that way nobody will ever bother to have even a second with her in the bathroom. She argued and said she valued those parts of her bodies more than anything but I told her she would die anyway if she committed suicide, so why not cut her apples and watermelons and still stay alive? 😂😂 Same way I proffered solution to a man who was about to commit Suicide, he was trying tie a rope on his neck but I asked him why he said his wife has emptied their bank account on manicure and pedicure and her lipstick costs $25,000 and he basically doesn't even have a dollar, so he felt the best way to elude his podgy wife was to die. Then I told that wasn't the solution, I told him the best way was to put an a merchandise on Amazon, and tag it five dollars and put his home address on the merchandise when the owners of the merchandise came, then he can put his wife in a sack and deliver her to the buyers.  <hr> <hr> <hr> <hr> <hr> <hr> <center> ## I nominate @Dante31 and @japfive for the COM challenge <hr> <hr> ### Thank you for reading </center> <hr> <hr> <hr> <hr> 
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