After two months, I finally got to book an appointment with my specialist, and I had to fast track this one by bullying the handler of account of the hospital, else whoever it is might not pay attention to me.

 I use to hate hospitals,I still do, it's a very stressful place, filled anxiety and uncertainty, I never stepped my feet into one for over 15, despite suffering a lot of complications over the years that needed the attention of a special.


 This wasn't because I hated my health, it's simply because I don't do well with anxiety. I've lost jobs over the years because I didn't have my head in the right place, and due to these I stayed away from hospitals for a very long time, but here I am now, frequenting hospitals and specialists multiple times in 2 years. 

Some days ago, I started noticing new symptoms that are  strange and just suddenly comes, I realized thay weren't familiar and this troubled me. 


Trust me, that hospital is not where I want to be, one thing is sure, I'll be having anxiety bouts, because I'm probably going to be running multiple tests and the expectation of the results of these tests might throw me off a little, but then, I want to get rid of these symptoms and their underlying causes, because they're scary and not something I've experienced before.  


I'm looking to do whatever I need to do, so that even though I'm not at a favorable state of mind, I'll have taken care of everything I wanted to.. Another thing is that there is a 20% chance I might get admitted, and that's if I need electropheresis treatment, which I honest wouldn't mind, but these treatments are very expensive.

The Specialist hospital is also very far, and I'll need about 2 to 3 hours drive to get there, and since I'm not at a 100%, I'll need to cook a taxi. 

My partner will go through a mental breakdown if they learn I might only show up for work for less than one hour. She always has a PTSD when I'm absent for work, but unfortunately tomorrow will be an off, because I'll definitely not be able to work when I come back, and that's if I wasn't admitted. 

She's one of those people who doesn't have the ability to grind without needing help, sometimes just 3 hours on the job she is already gassed out, while I can go 8 hours straight without even taking up to 30 minutes break. I'll see how it goes.