My Gratitude
health·@lizzyib·
0.000 HBDMy Gratitude
<center></center> <center>One of my gratitude journals</center> *Oh laaawdy laaawdy. Here we go. Another self righteous privileged idiot preaching about gratitude. Let her live in my world and let's see what she can find to be thankful for!* Maybe that's what you thought when you saw this post come up in your feed. But please, if you just bear with me I'm sure you'll see that is the furthest from the truth. # First some context The picture your seeing in this post is one that I snapped the other day while at dialysis. I go to a center three times a week for four hours at a time to, simply put, get my blood cleaned by a machine. In the past I had always had gratitude journals, but never anything that was consistent, until about 3 years ago. I had just started this in-center type of dialysis after doing a different type of dialysis at home on my own for 16 years. Everything that could go wrong seemed to, including almost dying from a pulmomary embolism. I felt scared, sick, tired, and worst of all helpless. After all those years of taking care of myself and having atonomy, my life was literally in other peoples hands, and it seemed at every turn my precious health, that I worked so hard to keep afloat, was sinking rapidly. # How it started I knew with the fate of my physical health out of my hands for the time being, I needed to take control of what I could and one of those things was my mental health. I decided one day to just focus on one thing that I was grateful for. *One thing.* At first I even found that hard. ## *"Reflect upon your present blessings, of which every man has plenty; not your past misfortunes, of which all men have some."* -Charles Dickens # The Results Can I say that after the first few days of struggling to grasp on to something to be thankful for that everything was sunshine and lollipops? Absolutely not. But over time, I was able to find more and more things. And they were genuine things, I wasn't just bullshitting myself. Sometimes it was as small as getting to eat macaroni and cheese for lunch, at other times it was elation because I was discharged from the hospital. # Present day Now I make it a point to scribble down at least 10 things I am thankful for in a journal. On dialysis days I do this as soon as I am hooked up to the machine. Once you consciously sit and write and reflect on your blessings, the more you automatically start seeing in your life. L.
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