An Update to My Personal Well-Being | Does consistency ever exist in my life?
blog·@macchiata·
0.000 HBDAn Update to My Personal Well-Being | Does consistency ever exist in my life?
My friends who've known me quite some time will know that I am battling against an unseen force that drains me mentally and physically. I wrote my desperation a long time ago as a way to cope the extreme pain that I felt. However, these days everything flows like a river, and I am the leaf, floats above it effortlessly. I wonder where the river will take me, yet for sure these days the sky is brighter than it used to.  <center><strong><sub>Charlie! is always curling up in any warm spot and this winter is the coldest for her.</sub></strong></center> About a couple days ago, I received a text " Is everything okay? From an old friend as she seen my status about bitcoin. It took me a while to answer that seemingly an easy question. I decided to leave it for a day and reflected what I have been doing. I realized; Finally, I have been running away. I run away once again, but this time, it's myself and apparently my problem. I am completely in a denial that everything is not okay and I've got to do something about it before maybe, it's too late. The first highlight of the year is probably my study. It feels utterly awful from being an A student to an F student. I would say, my medical condition that was neglected was evidently taking part in all this madness. I tried to wind down my frustration, but some of them told me, " Embrace it, you simply change. You're not who you used to be" <center></center> The exam week is coming, and I honestly want to avoid it. As a matter fact, during this semester all I learned was outside my school environment where it was all about "how to survive in real world 101". I nailed it I guess; I know how to make a few bucks that'll keep me alive and probably sane. Likewise, It is twice struggling to focus, to get things done efficiently also being productive. <center></center> However, the bright side for this month is I am reading more books than ever, and the highlight will be my religious study. I love each minute of it although I am still struggling with the consistency. The second one would be, I am entirely distracting myself with reading, trading, watching Youtube although I can say it can be quite toxic. I began to go outside again after a couple of weeks even I have to still adjust to the environment. For instance, just yesterday I felt nauseous to have excessive stimulation to light, sounds, and the crowd. It gets me very dizzy and anxious. Third, well a little light exercise now and then because I currently have a very sedentary lifestyle where I spent my day just sitting in front of my laptop. The least one would be the next meetup for an old project of mine that aims to help students who are struggling with mental distress. I can say it looks like a cult meeting with a bunch of hipster circling sharing their stories. I truly missed it. It was rather inactive due to my involvement with campus theater project. Now we'll get back on track, and it's a storytime! A gratitude notes are also something I am working. Despite the negative side of how things are, there is the positives side that I have to be grateful. And my blog feed is not as dark as It used to be. It goes brighter than it used to. Although I somewhat lost my muse to write a poem or even short stories. It shifts to more serious and satirical tone. Also, as usual, I am grateful for the friendship I bonded this month. Sometimes, I have to leave the conspiracy side and just enjoy the world as other people do. So, is everything okay? Perhaps. <sub> PS : I am always confused with these cats,there are two and they look similar. I can't tell if it's minouche ou charlie </sub> ------------------------------------ Au fait, <h1>Joyeuses fêtes🎄🎄🎄🎆🎇</h1>