![](https://images.ecency.com/DQmPyKRCBjTJ9gjyzKnRQHeBsodRqfhNGHNNf7hbY68c92d/20231201_150352.jpg)

I catch myself sometimes still thinking about the wrongs that my parents, relatives, friends allegedly did to me, I am constantly angry with them in my thoughts, even in my dreams, and at the same time, I'm learning not to be angry at them. I'm learning that western tolerance. That lightness of the wind, maybe not even tolerance, but I want to discover the "I do not care" button. 

I catch myself thinking about things I don't do because I don't want to embarrass myself in front of others. They might think there is something wrong with my head. They might even think I'm crazy. I'm afraid to identify myself, because it would appear to others that I open up too much about myself, which is completely unacceptable for a normal, more modest person. And yet, sometimes I would really like to write by signing my name and surname, maybe write stupid things, maybe meaningless, but I would like to do it. Only, I'm not ready for such comments as "the full moon has affected you so much here?" At the same time, I am afraid that life will pass by accompanied by fears. Fears, completely irrelevant opinions, advice of others. 

I find myself thinking that life is too short. No, I'm not 70, I'm not even 40 yet, and today I already regret every minute spent on Instagram or reading worthless articles with strange titles. It's strange that only now, after wasting 30 years on meaningless things, I would like to live the remaining 50 years in a meaningful, interesting and fun way. As a child, I decided to live to be 80 years old.

I find myself thinking about relationships. I love to own people so much and not let them do anything but be with me. Then I remember how my grandmother always told me that a person is born alone and dies alone. And that you need to be partners and in no way conjoined Siamese twins, because that "Siamese" will end faster than our summer. I must learn the term of partnership and cool my brain every time I want to say "you and your friends are definitely not going anywhere today". No, you will definitely go. When you want and where you want...

💝💝💝💝💝💝💝💝💝💝

With love @madeirane
Photo is taken by me.
© 2023