After A Month Of Rest And Introspection I'm Looking Forward To What's Coming
hive-181465·@mamrita·
0.000 HBDAfter A Month Of Rest And Introspection I'm Looking Forward To What's Coming
When I woke up this morning I felt stiffness and pain in my neck and upper back. This happens to me very rarely and I'm already feeling better but I realized I had to change my plans for today. Part of the plan was to go through my storage space in the basement. It's not really necessary but I have felt that the energy down there is bugging me for quite some time. I want to get rid of things and just organize things better. The plan was actually also to post about this in The Hive Minimalistic Community, a community @artemislives invited me to. Well, it's in the pipeline! Not only about my storage space but how I have been living more minimalistic over the years and that having too much stuff around me really stresses me out. But that's another post 🙂 <center></center><center>*From my living room window today. The strong wind doesn't really show. Fun fact; I actually used to live in one of the buildings on that hill.* 🙂</center> Of course it would be great to go out for a walk but there's a storm here and it's also snowing/raining. In a way, I feel it's a great way to end the first month of the new year. I haven't done much in January. As I shared in my last post, I fell ill but when I started feeling better I stayed in a rather introverted space. I had a lot to process. There was also a lot of resistance and emotional pain. I cried a lot. I caught myself in compulsive thought patterns and I was able to penetrate these thoughts with awareness and acceptance. Suddenly there was so much space. And things slowed down also internally. 4 days ago I got my period and I felt it was so timely. As some of your might know I do my best to honor the different phases of my cycle and when I'm on my period I really do my best to rest, rest and rest. It's also an exciting time because a new cycle starts, it's like a new beginning. Sometimes I wonder how it would be to have a male body and not experience these cycles. I have come to love them. I usually draw five cards for each new cycle. One for each phase and then one for the cycle as a whole. I love this routine, it offers me guidance and often reassurance. I'm starting to feel that I'm shedding skin. That's also why I have felt a bit lost. But new ideas come to me and there's a lot I want to do differently. I have been struggling a lot with worrying lately, as I have also shared before. But now something else has emerged inside of me. I feel a strong desire to mess things up. To see what happens if I do so. It's exciting. I guess I'm in a process of letting go. <center></center><center>*I love deck. I have been using it for years.*</center> After 2 years of an intensive coach training I have also had a break from clients and practices. Actually since mid-November. And lately I have been thinking a lot about how to find my way back there. I think it's clear that I have been giving too much. So many people have also told me that I'm a very giving person and I guess that's true. Especially with my clients, I have really been giving so much. It wasn't really sustainable. It's been a learning process how to hold space for someone else without feeling depleted myself. But I'm starting to feel a desire again to coach. To build something. Create. But I also feel the first step is to start with myself. I need to find my way back to the practices I guide my clients through. And I know I have to start small and go slow. Which is *very* hard for me. But I want to do things differently from now on. I have also signed up for quite a lot of things here in Stockholm so from next week I'll be more social again. I also want to be more active physically, this month has been a bit of an exception and that's ok. I guess I needed to just let everything go. I have kind of abandoned pole dancing but instead I have signed up for belly dancing, starting next week 🙂 I took belly dancing classes in Berlin but I didn't really get that far. I think it will help me to tap into my sexual energy (dancing always does). Actually, I have decided to set an alarm throughout my workdays and take small dancing breaks. It's just the best way to move your energy 🔥 Thanks for reading 🌸 Love and blessings to you all 💚 <center></center> <center></center>
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