![IMG-PHOTO-ART--140759008.jpg](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmR7YrvAhibRuX3WGN2fXp4hyZA7EjgQdFG3XYkX4QWCVv/IMG-PHOTO-ART--140759008.jpg)

*Guess who's back!!*

A voice boomed out over our bank of desks. I looked up to see who the fuck was *peasant shouting.*

It was *Jam-Bag.* He had been a Project Manager here once then left. He had been gone a long time. 

If memory served me correctly, his biggest achievement had been purchasing the [Moto 360](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moto_360_(1st_generation)) smart watch and tapping the face of it repeatedly in meetings.

I had a quick look at his wrist. No Moto. Just the usual identikit Fitbit'ery.

I didn't quite get the Fitbit obsession. Although to be fair I was half tempted to get one and attach it to my penis and setup an actifit account on Steemit for it.

![yxryd_hf711-picsay_20200123172742175_20200128154527343_20200129130917694_20200130164854266.jpg](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmZ34unWyyYaZCBp9Di4NQQR3Y3n6CUyPFQ3MVQFX6qAV9/yxryd_hf711-picsay_20200123172742175_20200128154527343_20200129130917694_20200130164854266.jpg)

*Who let you in?*

I asked pretending to be friendly.

*Aha! There he is! The big man speaks!*

*Jam-Bag* grinned hugely as if we were two old tomcats licking a herring.

*Bet you never thought you would see me back in this cow of a place!*

He waved his arms expansively like Caesar did when announcing his new salad dressing.

*Erm... No?*

I raised my voice at the end of my response as if I were a teenage American girl and hoped that he wouldn't take it as a mating signal.

*Well, here I am. Back. Back to sort you lot out!*

*Jam-Bag* laughed dementedly.

Nearby, a few people who had absolutely no idea who he was shifted uncomfortably in their seats at the nutter in the cheap suit and loud voice.

*That's nice. You back as a Project Manager then?*

I asked.

*Ha! A PM?? Not likely, mate. Back to drag you lot kicking and screaming into the 20th century more like!*

He chuckled and briefly looked downward shaking his head as if noticing the floor was made of vaginas for the first time.

*You mean the 21st century?*

I said with a majestically raised eyebrow.

*Oh there it is! That's the BoomDawg right there. Can't get one past this guy!*

*Jam-Bag* nudged the oily shoulder of a DevOps guy sitting nearby.

*So what are you back for?*

I asked with no small amount of puzzlement. His track record hadn't been the best as far as I could remember.

*What am I back for? Maybe I'm back to shake a few trees, see what falls out.*

He tapped an index finger to his nose and winked at me before turning heel and marching off.

Collectively we watched him go, bafflement in the air like the perfume of a lady in her late forties 

*I heard El Jefe is getting promoted, do you think he's in to replace him?*

Asked the oily DevOps guy across from me.

The blood froze in my veins at the thought of my boss being replaced by the thing that had just *Gervais'd* us. 

*I fucking hope not.*